Vancouver in December is the pits. Zero out of ten experience, would not recommend.
Elliot
Boston isn’t much better. I’m pretty sure my nipples almost broke off like tiny pink icicles when we got off the plane. Who invented winter and then decided it was the besttime to play sports?
Alex
Dude. At least you get to play on grass. I have to walk through the Canadian frozen tundra to a rink where I play on ice. *ice*, Elliot! My nips are way worse off than yours are.
Elliot
Dude. I’ve seen how fucking sweaty you get under all those pads. No way is the ice affecting your body temperature that much. Your nips are fine.
Alex
No, but being a hockey god only raises my body temperature when I’m on the ice. As soon as I cool down, it's bye bye nipples.
Elliot
Fair. But I’m playing outside in the snow tonight. Snow makes everything worse. My nipples are on their last legs.
Alex
It’s too bad we’re on opposite coasts. If we were in the same city, we could meet up after our games and keep each other’s nipples warm.
Elliot
…
Do you even realize what you just said?
Alex
I don’t fuck around when it comes to nipples, Elliot.
Elliot
You’re a goober, goat.
Alex
And you love me. Break a leg tonight. Kick some New England ass. XOXO
Elliot
You too. Show those Canadians how San Francisco handles shit.
Alex
You have to say XOXO
Elliot
Uh, why? I’m not a conversation heart.
Alex
El, please. I’m testing a theory.
