We worked in an easy rhythm, music flowing through my speaker and our hands busy meant we didn’t do much talking. It left my mind to wander to last night. After attending the meeting, Rick drove me back to my car and I went straight to the gym. I wanted to tire myself out so that when I came home, I could just crash.
Doing physical work had been key early on in my recovery. The first four months were a brutal, daily battle. I was going to meetings multiple times a day most days of the week, but my saving grace was the gym. I spent almost every other waking moment exercising. It helped that Jae moved into an apartment with me and didn’t mind sparring at odd hours of the night.
I was eternally grateful that he was able to drop everything and move down to Florida to support me. The amount of shit he had to put up with those first ninety days should have earned that man a medal. I fell off the wagon three times in the first two months before finally getting my head on straight and sticking to the program.
With some sleep and some mental clarity after attending the meeting, I realized that yesterday’s temptation wasn’t a setback. It sucked, sure, but I made it through the night without reaching for alcohol to cope.
I woke to a text from Shiloh telling me she got home safely late last night. I appreciated that she had checked in, that she had taken me seriously when I told her that I worried about her and wanted to know that she was safe. After Jae and I’s conversation this morning, we decided to purchase a home security system. We spent an hour researching to find the best option and called to set up installation for the next available date, this Tuesday.
If Shiloh moved in with us, which in my head was a when not an if, we’d talk about firearms. For now, the home security system was enough to ease both of our minds.
Maybe she was right, I was a little delusional already planning out our future, but it was a matter of faith. And I knew that Shiloh and I being together again was designed with a greater purpose.
We managed to finish the flooring quickly and brought the new toilet up from the garage. Ford spent every summer of his childhood working with his dad flipping houses and was definitely going to be an asset to my DIY projects going forward. I was stoked when he offered to help me this weekend. I didn’t think we would finish in one day, but at this rate we’d be done before dinnertime.
“Hey,” Ford, said as he connected the water line to the back of the toilet. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah.” I sat on the edge of the tub watching him work so I knew what to do when I replaced the toilet in my ensuite.
“What happened at the rock-climbing gym?”
I sucked my teeth, trying to sort through my thoughts as I came up with an answer.
“Sorry,” Ford said, pausing to look up at me. “I don’t mean to pry. It was just really out of character for you.”
“No, I…well, you should’ve seen me at my last duty station. I was a completely different person.” My face twisted with distaste.
“Oh,” Ford’s brow raised. “Is it, like, a mental health thing?”
“No,” I shook my head. “The thing at the gym was…well, honestly I’m not really sure how to explain it.”
Ford looked dissatisfied with my response, but he didn’t press for more details.
“Emory and I knew each other in high school. And we hadn’t seen each other since. We kind of went throughsomething traumatic together and I admittedly freaked out when I saw her again.”
“Wait, but she said she didn’t know who you were,” he interjected.
“Yeah,” I drawled, fidgeting with the tube of caulk in my hand. “She said she was in shock and embarrassed and just wanted to get out of the situation as quickly as possible.”
“So, you’ve guys talked since?”
Ford stood from the floor, watching the water begin to fill in the toilet tank.
“Yeah.”
Ford shot me a coy smile, wiggling his eyebrows. “Have you more than talked?”
I bit into my cheek to avoid smiling, “Define more than talked?”
Ford laughed, shoving my shoulder with his hand not holding the wrench. “Good for you, brother. At least one of us it getting some action.”
I cringed and shook my head, “No. We’re not sleeping together.”
“Oh.”
I chuckled at Ford’s blank face. His confusion made sense. Ford was only nineteen and I knew he’d never been in a long-term relationship.
“We’re dating.”
