“Um, what-what did you ask?”
“I was wondering what happened at the church you had a bad experience with.”
I nodded. “They were really big on obedience and repentance.”
“Repentance? Like confessing your sins? Was it a Catholic church or something?”
“For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to the death the deeds of the body, you will live.”
The bowl in Enoch’s hand clattered and he pulled his hand up to his mouth. “Ouch.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, waving my concern away with his hand. “Sorry, you just surprised me. Did you just quote scripture?”
Enoch’s brown eyes waited patiently for me to reply and I nodded.
“Yeah, Romans 8:13.”
Enoch cocked a brow. “So, you study the Bible well enough to quote it but don’t go to church?”
“Maybe. I dunno. I guess it just stuck with me.”
“Huh.”
Enoch placed a bowl down in front of me and I smiled with thanks. They each took a seat on either side of me at the island with their own food.
“So, what exactly does that scripture have to do with repentance?”
I rolled my shoulders back, trying to rid myself of the tension building in my body.
“They preached that in order to repent you had to die to the flesh. Jesus suffered tremendous pain for our sins.” I took a breath, focused on stirring the food in my bowl. “We should also suffer as a reminder of what Christ did for us and to show Him that we are remorseful.”
I could feel both of them staring at me.
“I’m not really sure what you’re saying,” Enoch said with trepidation. “What does ‘dying to the flesh’ mean?”
I could see his mind already had an idea of what I was implying.
“Belting, whipping, whatever you want to call it. Physical punishment was meant to be a reminder of your wrongdoings and a personal connection to Christ and His suffering for your sins.”
“Shit, what kind of church was this?” Enoch asked with shock. “That’s so…wrong. I mean, just, completely wrong.”
“And you went to this church as a child? In Granby?” Jae asked, making me turn to face him. His brow was furrowed, like he was trying to picture which church I was talking about.
I ignored his question, opting instead to reply to Enoch.
“No, I mean, I agree it’s insane. Which is why I haven’t been back to church since.”
“Wow,” Jae breathed.
“Yeah, seriously. I’m scared to ask what else they were preaching,” Enoch said with a head shake.
“You don’t even want to know,” I mumbled, finally taking a bite of the food. I sighed, letting my eyes fall closed. I chewed and swallowed, savoring the flavors. “I think this is the best thing I’ve ever eaten.”
Enoch chuckled, his hand landing on the back of my stool. “Thank you. It’s, uh, my mom’s recipe. Well, minus the red wine.”
The lull in conversation left an opening for my mind to wander to the past. I refused to relive anymore shit today, so I changed the topic.
