The sting of the belt had me jolting against the desk once again.
“If we confess our sins…”
“If we confess our sins—” I parroted.
“He is faithful and just…”
“He is faithful and just—”
“And will forgive us our sinsand purify us from all unrighteousness.”
“And will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness,” I finished.
He took a step back.
My hands were sweaty and shaky as I pushed myself to stand, facing Elder Sam.
“Please forgive me for using profanity, Elder Sam. It was disobedient to use a wicked word,” I said, trying hard not to look away from his expectant gaze. “I accept your just punishment as reparation, and I repent for my wrongdoings.”
“You are forgiven, child.” A smile creased the corners of his eyes as he gestured for me to return to my seat. “Now, where were we? Ah, yes, deference. Miss Rachel, maybe you can answer. Why is it important for women to submit?”
A pat on my arm had me flinching as I ripped my eyes open. I blinked several times, the white ceiling losing focus as a face smiled down at me.
“All done. Sit up,” Hannah said.
I nodded, slowly moving from my position over the tub. Lottie grabbed my hands, pulling me to stand and Hannah moved the stool closer to the bathroom counter.
“You looked like you were falling asleep,” Lottie said with an amused smile. “I always do whenever I get my hair washed at the salon.”
I hummed, nodding my head in absent agreement.
I rolled my shoulders back, releasing a sigh as I brushed off the memory. I wished that was the last time I had slipped up and used the word sorry. It wasn’t until Father had his turn to belt me that I finally broke the habit.
Eight
June 27, Saturday
Enoch
Alive. Alive. Alive.
Every pulse of blood pumping through my body seemed to be screaming the words.
When the deputy left, I was in shock. More so than when I thought I’d run into her ghost or had been involuntarily participating in a sick nightmarish simulation of an alternate reality.
I had taken the deputy’s words to heart when he warned us to keep our distance, even though every strand of DNA in my body was set on a course straight back to her arms, building elaborate daydreams of our future together.
But protecting Shiloh took precedence over my selfish desires.
So, when Jae made me promise him that I would stay away from her, I had quickly agreed.
But as each hour passed, it became harder and harder to get her out of my head. Truthfully, she’d never left.
Was she okay?
What had happened in the days before she left me that had caused her to fake her own death?
Had she been hurt?
