“I’m not gonna say I’m sorry for spying on you because it was out of love, but I am sorry you’ve been dealing with an addiction and no one was here for you.”
“Besides Jae,” he quickly tacked on.
I released another deep breath and nodded in understanding. “It was my own fault. I isolated myself but I guess that’s about to change.”
Sebastian stepped into my personal space and pulled me in for short hug.
“What’s going on with this girlfriend?”
“What do you mean?” I asked warily.
“Well, is she a risk to your sobriety? It sounds like she's an addict or something.”
“No,” I breathed. “Hell no.”Maybe if she faked her death again.“If anything, she’s ahugemotivator to stay sober. Yes, she's battling her own problems, but she's not threatening my sobriety.”
Sebastian stared at me for a long moment before finally stepping back. “Well, it’s cold as heck out here. Let’s get back inside.”
I chuckled if only to break the tension in the air between us and nodded in agreement, letting him lead the way. As I stepped back inside the living room, I realized it was time to finally tell the rest of my family.
I was forced to awkwardly request that once the children were asleep everyone meet me in the living room for a family meeting.
I couldn’t recall us ever having a ‘family’ meeting except the time my sister found out she was pregnant with Ruthie. I could see it on my mom’s face, so I rushed out, “No one’s pregnant. I just…have something to say.”
Everyone agreed, not without curious questions and stares that I ignored, and I opted for spending some time in the garage beating the shit out of the heavy bag.
Jae found me thirty minutes later. He didn’t say anything, just put on a pair of gloves and let me beat the shit out of him instead of the bag for another while until my dad poked his head in to let us know that the kids were asleep.
Jae pulled off his gloves, wiping his sweaty hair out of his eyes, as he glanced at me.
“You ready for this?”
I shook my head, “No, but I don’t think I’ll ever feel ‘ready’. Sebastian forced my hand when he overhead me talking to Shiloh on the deck. The fucker was spying on me, ‘out of love’, he says. I was admittedly already planning to come clean tonight,but he heard me talking to Shiloh about my sobriety and I can’t find an excuse to get out of going through with it now.”
Jae’s hand met the back of my neck as he pulled me in close.
“You got this. Even if someone seems upset with you, they don’t mean it. Everyone will come around and just be happy for you.”
I swallowed, nerves knotting in my stomach. “Okay.”
I followed him inside, each step up the stairs building a weight on my chest. Everyone’s eyes landed on me and the pressure of their stares had me stalling just a moment longer to get some cold water from the fridge. With a glass in hand, I finally let my gaze fall on my family.
Baba, Ded and both Jae’s and my parents took up the whole couch. Sebastian was sitting on the floor with Eden leaning against his chest. Esther was sitting cross-legged beside them. Jae had pulled up two of the island stools and motioned for me to take a seat.
I cleared my throat. If I wasn’t sweaty from sparring, I was certainly sweating now.
The silence in the air was oppressive.
“So,” I started, my finger running up and down the side of the glass. I focused on the cold feeling against my skin instead of the rapid beating of my heart. “Jae lied yesterday. He doesn’t care about there being alcohol in the house for religious reasons.”
“What?” Uncle Q asked, looking absolutely perplexed.
Everyone but Sebastian shared confused looks.
I took another deep breath, forcing the words out before anyone else could interrupt with more questions.
“Jae lied for me.I’mthe reason that we don’t keep alcohol in the house. I’m just shy of one year sober.”
Several voices overlapped as questions and comments flew out of their mouths faster than I was ready to process. My leggedbounced and I quickly realized that was a bad idea when the water sloshed over the rim of my cup and landed on my athletic shorts. Jae grabbed my glass from my hands and placed it on the counter behind us before I accidentally dropped it.
