He hummed in understanding. “Is there a reason they don’t know you’re a recovering alcoholic? Are they a risk to your sobriety?”
I swallowed, shifting my weight to my other foot. “No, it’s not that. I honestly don’t have a good reason for not telling them or for not making amends.”
He nodded again. “First, good on you for getting out of there and for showing up tonight though. I’m glad you came and made the difficult but better choice by walking away from the alcohol.”
My cheeks heated under his compliment.
“Second, recovery isn’t supposed to be easy. If it was, we’d never be pushed to change or grow. And third, it’s a journey, not a race. You might not ever feel ‘ready’ to make amends, but you’ll know when it’s time to take that step with your family. Trust me, it might suck, but it’ll get better once you get through it. It really does feel good to get it off your chest and stop holding onto theguilt of your past wrongdoings. It’s how we can finally forgive ourselves and really, truly change for the better.”
I nodded releasing a long exhale. “Thanks, Bryan.”
He smiled once more before slapping me on the arm and walking away.
Was this a sign that I just needed to do it? That I needed to finally take the next step and face my family, apologize for cutting them off, for putting them through hell those last few months before I left, and then refusing to let them into my life again afterward?
Thirty-Four
July 30, Thursday
Emory
“Hi,” Enoch’s voice filled my ears through my headphones as I continued my set of pushups.
“Hi,” I breathed out, a smile on my lips. “What’s going on?”
“Um,” he paused, clearing his throat. The silence had my stomach tightening as I halted at the top of my pushup. I dropped my knees as the silence dragged.
“Enoch?”
“Would you mind if I stayed the night?”
My heartbeat picked up, and I sat back on my heels. “What happened?”
There was another long bout of silence and if it weren’t for the sound of his turn signal blinking in the background, I’d have assumed the call dropped.
“Of course you can stay the night,” I finally said when I realized he wasn’t going to respond.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I breathed, standing up to clean up and head back to my apartment. “How far away are you?”
“Maybe four minutes,” he said.
“Okay. I’ll wait for you downstairs. I was just working out in the gym.”
“You don’t have to finish. I can wait for you to be done.”
“No, I’m good. I’ll see at the door.”
I waited for him to say goodbye but instead he whispered, “Thank you.”
“Of course,” I said, shrugging. “It’s not a hardship to share a bed with my boyfriend.”
Enoch hummed and I could hear the smile in the voice. “I like it when you say that.”
I smiled, biting into my cheek, butterflies taking flight in my stomach.
Boyfriend.It still felt surreal to say that, to believe that Enoch was really here, that he was mine, that my future looked…happy. I didn’t think I’d ever say that about my life.
