I’m an addict.
Apple didn’t fall far from the tree at fucking all. I feel like I’m still fucking attached to it. Might as wellbethe fucking tree.
“Welcome to the club.”
I scoffed, and he ran his hands up and down my back in a soothing motion.
“I know. It’s one no one wants to be in, but we’re exclusive as fuck and super clingy. Once you’re in,” he sighed with a chuckle, “you’re in for life. Which means, you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon, baby. Not in this. And not in anything else that life throws our way. We’ll get you clean. I promise it won’t feel this hard forever.”
I sighed again, breathing in the scent of his cologne and relaxing further into his embrace.
We sat in silence for a while, until the sound of rain pelting the windows made us both jump.
Enoch chuckled, pulling me back by my hair to give me a kiss.
I melted against him, savoring the feeling of his soft lips, the taste of him, the way he tugged my hair enough to give me a jolt of excitement straight down to my core.
“So…I have a question,” I breathed against his mouth.
“What?”
“If I get a tattoo, is that gonna count against me since it’s pain.”
Enoch hummed in thought for a moment. “Are you doing it because you want to feel the pain, or because you want the tattoo?”
“I mean, I’ve been planning the tattoo for a while. It’s the one you saw when Cole was here. I didn’t plan to get it because I wanted to hurt myself. But I…I can’t lie and say that I won’t likely enjoy the pain a little bit.”
“Why do you usually cut?”
I frowned at the invasive question.
“To avoid feelings, right?” He prodded.
“Yeah.”
Enoch took a deep breath, and I watched as he considered his response, his dark brows bunching together slightly. I noticed the dark circles under his eyes.Has he slept since my nightmare on Saturday?
He finally nodded, tracing his finger over my tattooed forearm. “Then I think it’s okay to do this, so long as you’re not using it as a coping mechanism.”
I deflated with a sigh and nodded.
Enoch drew his finger over the coin still in my hand.
“Where you going to put it?”
I shrugged. “Have you always had yours in your wallet?”
Enoch nodded, “Yeah. I had the other coins as I earned them in all the places I frequented as visual reminders too. Around the house, my desk at work, my car, and my wallet. But I don’t feel the need for all those visual reminders anymore, and I just keep the one in my wallet. I keep it next to my ID, as a visual barrier if I ever got to the point of paying for some alcohol.”
My eyes bounced around the room.
“I think,” I paused, letting my eyes fall back to Enoch’s. “I think I need to keep it on me. Like in my pocket. It’s kind of a good fidget too.”
Enoch smiled with a nod in agreement. “If you want, I can drill a hole through it and you can put it on a chain, wear it like a necklace.”
I chewed my lip, looking down at the thin coin.
“Yeah, that’s actually a good idea. Can you do that for me?”
