“I’m fine. I promise. Really.”
She sighed and leaned back, not letting her gaze leave mine.
“You scared the hell out of me, Em.”
“Forgive me for scaring you.” I took a deep breath, that word I wished I could say making every muscle in my body tense.
She gave me a fierce look. “You know, I am totally using this whole fiasco as leverage to get you to sell that damn bike. It literally hurts my heart to see you like this.”
I could see her eyes were getting misty. Guilt swirled in my gut, so I opened my arms for her to lean in for a hug, knowing how much it meant to her when I let her comfort me.
She gently wrapped her arms around my shoulder and sniffled against my hair. “I really, really hate that bike.”
“I know,” I nodded, patting her on the back.
After a moment she straightened up and wiped her eyes.
“I had to make sure you were alive, and now that I’ve seen the state of you, I’m going to rearrange the schedule for this week.”
My face fell and on instinct I nearly objected but realized I wasn’t going to be here for work. I was…I was leaving her behind just like I’d left Jae and Enoch.
“Shut up, Emory. You’re off Monday and Tuesday at the minimum. Take a shower and get some rest. Got it?”
I rolled my eyes but squeezed her hand sincerely. “Thank you, Lottie. You’re an amazing friend.”
She smiled, patting my thigh with a comforting touch. “Call me if you need anything, okay?” She gave me a look. “I mean it.”
I nodded and she gave me one last concerned looked. “I’ll see myself out. Call me in the morning when you’re up so I know you’re okay.”
“Sure,” I agreed, forcing a smile. She stood and walked over to the front door, and I realized this would be the last time I saw her. My stomach soured with guilt. “Wait!”
She stopped, turning around to face me expectantly.
I quickly pulled her into an awkward hug, but she didn’t seem to mind and she relaxed her shoulders, holding me gently.
“Thanks for caring so much about me, Lottie.”
I pulled away, eyes cast to the floor. I cleared my throat moving to open the door for her.
“Bye.”
She gave me a sad smile and waved before I shut the door.
Five
June 20, Saturday
Enoch
Tick. Tick. Tick.
The sound of my watch counting the seconds as they passed reminded me that I was once again in silence. I raised my finger tapping my screen to press the play button.
“Hey, shitbird.”Your voice. I know I heard your voice today. I know it, Shiloh.I sighed, letting a tear fall down my face. “I guess you’re sleeping. I’m glad you didn’t answer actually. It’s better this way. I’ll get to savor the fact that the last time I’ll have heard your voice it was happy.”
My chest ached. My mind was running circles, trying desperately to make sense of what happened earlier today.
It was Shiloh. It was her. Her voice. Her eyes. Those were my Shiloh’s eyes. Those were my red, hazy, hazel eyes that I’d spent hours staring at and falling in love with.
