Sarah nodded, letting the silence linger.
“So, what caused you to feel that way?” She asked with interest.
I closed my eyes. “I started my period.”
“And why did that make you scared?”
I cracked my knuckles again, although the joints remained silent.
“I, um,” I groaned rubbing my hands down my thighs to swipe away the sweat. “I thought I was having a miscarriage.”
Sarah made one of her nonverbal sounds that always made me feel like she was judging me.Fuck, it’s hot in here.
“Are you pregnant?”
“No,” I muttered. “I just thought I was when I woke up from the dream.”
“I see,” she said, and I opened my eyes to find her watching me with sympathy. I clenched my jaw, my eyes bouncing around her office space. “So, you thought you were having a miscarriage and then what did you do?”
I sucked a breath between my teeth, my chest tight. My fingers drummed against my thigh, and I impulsively reachedfor the scar that ran across the back of my left bicep. I traced the raised skin through my shirt.
I cradled my arm against my chest and clenched my jaw to hold back the whimper in my throat.
“It was an accident, my love,” he said, his voice soft and calm as he rummaged through the first aid kit beside him on the bed. “You shouldn’t have moved. Now you’ll need stitches.”
I swallowed back my retort. Of course, it was my fault that his belt missed my back and whipped my arm, cutting it open.
I took a deep breath.
“Will we go to the clinic?”
Theo’s movements stilled, and I mustered up the courage to glance at him. He pierced me with his blue eyes, his clean-shaven jaw ticking with tension.
“Am I not your husband?” he asked with hurt in his voice.
“Y-yes, of course you are,” I stuttered.
“Then you know that I am capable of caring for your every need,” he stated. He closed his eyes briefly before returning to the first aid kit. “I understand that this transition has been difficult, my love. I am here to guide you. You must trust me. That is the foundation of any relationship. Trust. Stop resisting, don’t give into the ways of this world, Olivia. We follow The Lord. We obey his commands, and we submit to one another.”
I nodded. “I understand, Theo. Please forgive me.”
“For?” he asked, head tilted as he studied me.
I swallowed. “For doubting you. That was disrespectful and disobedient. I accept your just punishment as reparation, and I repent for my wrongdoings.”
His lips flattened together, and he held his eyes on mine. Waiting. He was waiting for me to say it.
“And I submit.”
Theo smiled, his eyes softening. “And I to you, my love. Now let’s finish so we can go to sleep.”
I nodded, grateful it was over. Grateful that he had stopped after two lashes because he’d broken my skin open.
I involuntarily jerked away from the needle as it pricked my skin.
“Sit still, Olivia. You’ll hurt yourself,” he chided, sighing with frustration.
I tensed my body, holding my breath as he pulled the needle through my flesh. I kept my eyes squeezed shut, praying to God that He would keep my tears at bay. Theo hated when I cried, said it hurt him to see me in pain. And I hated being temporarily blind and dependent on him when my eyes swelled shut.
