“He’s dead. Suicide.”
Nox sucked in a breath in surprise, his grip on my waist tightening and his eyes widened.
“Fuck. Oh my God. Why—wait, didn’t you tell Sebastian that he was living with you still? Did hejustdie?” His face fell and he breathed out harshly, “Oh, fuck. I’m such a dick. Please, don’t answer any of those questions. I don’t have a filter sometimes.”
His brown eyes pleaded with me sincerely and I found myself chuckling at his flustered speech.
“It’s fine. You’re right, I did tell Seb that he was still alive. I just…” I let out a sigh, glancing around the room for a distraction from the uncomfortable sourness in my stomach. Why did it feel so wrong to lie to him? “I just wasn’t ready to tell him. Javier, my brother, he-he died two weeks ago.”
Nox’s gaze never left mine and he nodded slowly, his tongue swiping across his lips.
“Shit, Shiloh. That’s like, right when we met,” I could feel the pity dripping from his mouth. “I’m so fucking sorry. I know that doesn’t mean much, but I really am. I honestly can’t fathom the pain of losing a sibling. I want to help. Tell me what you need?”
I let out a long sigh, letting my eyes flutter close for a moment as I thought. I could write a book with all the things I needed. I chuckled to myself, thinking back to how I asked Nox to hold me last night. I could lie and say it was just an effect of the come down from all the drugs, but that wasn’t believable. I had never been much of an affectionate person with anyone before, but since Javi’s death I couldn’t seem to get enough. Andthe affection that Nox, and even Jae, offered to me so frequently didn’t make me uncomfortable or feel forced.
“Honestly,” I opened my eyes to look at Nox, “this is exactly what I’ve needed. Last night…I’ve never done that before. I don’t usually…cuddle, but it was…” I sighed breathlessly, “It was just what I needed. So…thanks.”
I bit my lip, my stomach fluttering with nerves and embarrassment.
Nox smiled softly and shook my hip, “Come here,”
I turned onto my side to face Nox and allowed his arms to envelop my body. We both let out a sigh, and I smiled against his chest.
“When we’re together…” I mumbled against his shirt. The mix of his smell and the lavender scent from his laundry soap were fogging up all my senses, “it’s like a mini vacation from the rest of my life.”
Can someone smell green? Am I still high? I sound like I’m high. He just smells green. Like after it rains and the earth is damp…
Nox chuckled, his body shaking my own as he laughed, and he ran his hand through my hair. Well, attempted to. His hand got stuck in a knot from sleeping with it wet.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to yank your hair out,” he chuckled. “I was going to say, I’m happy to be your mini vacation anytime. You need me to rub some sunscreen on your back, just ask.”
I scoffed, reluctantly pulling away to get some oxygen, and punched him.
“Jeez, I’m just concerned about your skin health,” he joked as he rubbed his arm. “Well, I’ve got aloe under the sink in the bathroom if you get sunburned. I know that’s like a real concern for you gingers.”
I rolled my eyes and chuckled, stopping when I realized that Nox was staring at me.
“What?” I was beginning to think maybe I had drool stained on my face or something.
He shook his head. “Nothing.”
Nox peeled back the covers and rolled over, grabbing his phone from his nightstand.
“We should probably join the land of the living. It’s almost eleven.”
I reluctantly agreed and slowly sat up, my body aching.Jesus, fuck, that burns. If I have a fucking STD I’m going to kill Carlos.I awkwardly stood, trying to ignore the pain as I walked out of Nox’s room.
Goddamn, were their dicks wrapped in sandpaper?!
“Oi!” Nox called out from behind me, causing me to jump and spin around to face him. “Where you think you’re going?”
“Um, downstairs?” I asked with a raised brow in confusion.
“Uh-uh,” he reprimanded, looking up at me through his thick lashes as he shook his head. “Get your ass in here and get rid of your zombie vomit breath, grosser.”
I chuckled, rolling my eyes. “Whatever…grosser. What are you, twelve? Is that even a word?”
“Says the person who makes up swear words like a serial Scrabble cheater,” he bit back, shoving me playfully as I passed him in the hall and walked into the bathroom. I winced, my ribs on fire.
