“Preciosa,” he murmured, smoothing my hair away from my face. “She’s perfect for the role, hermano. I see now why you went to bat for over a year for this.”
Fuck. What role? He said I wouldn’t be used as a prostitute. What have I done? Fuck, what have I done?!
His cold hands landed on my inner thighs and I shivered. He forced them to shift open.
“Huh,” he muttered, his finger stroking down to my opening.
God, my period. I’m still on my period. Maybe they’ll stop. Fuck, please, let them stop.
I heard footsteps coming closer and could feel someone else leaning over my body. Someone tugged at the string coming from inside me and I bit the inside of my lip, my cheeks burning with shame.
“Anyone want to back out?” Carlos said.
There was silence before another gruff voice spoke. “Does this mean we don’t need to wear a condom?”
“No,” Carlos said firmly. “I told you when we agreed to her initiation that I will not risk her getting pregnant.”
“Statistically, the chances are extremely low given she’s currently menstruating. With a morning-after pill it’s nearly impossible,” another voice added.
Someone sighed heavily, and I assumed it to be Carlos.
“You’re the doctor here. Everyone’s been tested, so it’s up to your own discretion if you would like to use a condom or not,” Carlos decided. I heard his footsteps receding and then the sound of a glass clinking.
Fuck! Just get it over with already.
Suddenly I was sweating everywhere, and I couldn’t tell if it was because of my anxiety or the drugs kicking in.How fast does it take to get high? What if it was laced with something bad and I was going to die?I dug my nails into my palms trying to distract myself as hands tweaked my nipples.
A warm feeling started exploding in my chest, reminding me of the feeling I got when I was with Nox. I moaned. I’d never felt this amazing in my entire life. Every inch of my body was warm, like rays of sunlight were shining down on me in the best way. I could feel Julian moving my body on the table until my legs were dangling over the edge.
I laughed uncontrollably and his lips were suddenly all over my body, almost impossibly, like more than one person was touching me. The friction of his skin against mine as he laid down on top of me left the most euphoric sensation. I was vaguely aware of the fact that something was wrong with the situation, but I couldn’t quite grasp the reason, as if it was sitting on the tip of my tongue just out of reach.
My mind felt like it was floating, unable to focus on anything other than the intense bliss that every cell of my body seemed to be feeling. Time seemed to stop, my stomach fluttering like I was riding an endless roller coaster. My chest started to feel heavy, like breathing was suddenly a voluntary action that I had to force myself to do. My limbs seemed to be weighed down with lead, sinking infinitely into the softness of wherever my body was. My mouth was dry and my eyes swollen shut.
For the first time in my life, I felt at peace. Safe, warm, comforted. I sank into the depths of my unconscious mind, slipping away from the sounds of pleasure filling the room like I was outside of my own body.
Fifteen
October 15, Friday
Shiloh
Igroggily rolled my heavy head away from the grunting sound and hot breath against my ear.
“S-top,” I tried to speak, but my mouth felt like it was filled with a cotton ball.
As my mind regained consciousness, I realized there was a body rocking against mine.
Sex. Los Siete. Drugs.
“Shh,” the voice said in my ear, just loud enough that I could barely hear. “Almost done. I promise.”
I realized that he wasn’t inside me. He wasn’t even hard, his soft dick just pressed against my pubic bone as he pretended to fuck me.
His body weight suddenly lifted, and I heard him pull his pants up. I flinched, trying to open my eyes as a blanket was laid over me.
I was slowly remembering where I was and what had just happened.
“Are we done?” I asked, hoping my voice didn’t sound as weak as it did to my own ears. It was raw and hurt to speak.
