I did as I was told, cringing as I watched her grab a towel and a kid’s bath cup from the linen cabinet in the wall opposite.Is that what I am to her? A little kid she has to take care of?
She turned the tap on, taking a seat on the closed toilet, her fingers under the water as she adjusted the temperature. Iflinched as the cool water lapped against my thighs and butt. She didn’t plug the drain but grabbed what I assumed was Esther’s body soap and lathered it into the washcloth.
“You wash your body, and I’ll do your hair.”
I took the cloth with a forced smile and quickly began scrubbing at my neck and chest. I twisted so my back was to her and tipped my head back at her indication of light pressure on my forehead. She filled the cup, and I shuddered as the warm water flowed down my scalp and back. She repeatedly wet my hair until I heard the shampoo bottle being pumped. It was awkward, and I tried to tell her I could manage it myself, but she simply redirected me to finish cleaning myself.
“All this gorgeous, long, thick hair,” she spoke softly. “I’ve missed doin' this. Esther hates her hair being' touched and little Ruthie don't have much hair yet. But I’m hopeful she’ll let me play with her hair like I did with Eden when she was little. It’s so relaxin'. Of course for the other person, but for me as well. Maybe I should’ve been a hairdresser,” she chuckled softly.
Her fingers massaged the soap into my scalp, and I realized that this was the first time a woman, a mother, had probably ever washed my hair for me. I wondered what that would’ve been like if I’d had a mother in my life to do this kind of stuff for me. As much as I hated being weak, I couldn’t resist relaxing under her gentle soothing touch as she rinsed my hair and then coated the ends in conditioner.
By the time she was done I felt like a limp noodle, ready to fall asleep. She let me rinse myself with the cup and turned her back to give me privacy while I washed my privates. I shut the water off, and she was ready and waiting with a towel. Again, she helped me to stand and step out of the tub after I had wrapped my body in the towel.
“I’ll go grab you some clean clothes. Sit down if you need to.”
I managed to nod and when she returned with a pile of clothes, she stood by, letting me know she’d catch me if I lost my balance. The pajamas weren’t Enoch’s. Sleep shorts and a loose sleep shirt. Even a clean pair of soft cotton underwear. I praised God that I didn’t require any more of her help to dress and was relieved when she took a step back, giving me space once I was clothed. She reached for the drawer under the sink and pulled out a hairbrush and some sort of spray.
Shelby opened the bathroom door, steam billowing out of the room and into the dark hallway. I followed her until we were in Enoch’s room. He shot up to a standing position from the bed that I noticed had been stripped, the sheets lying in a pile on the floor.
“Hey. I got you water, Gatorade, and some crackers. How are you feeling?”
“Bet—” I had to clear my throat, the words catching in my hoarse throat. “Better. Thank you.”
He nodded with a soft smile, giving me a once over before beckoning me to the bed.
“I got it mom,” he said, gesturing for the hair hairbrush.
“Alright,” she nodded. She rubbed a hand on my back. “Trashcan if ya need it,” she pointed to beside the bed. “Come get me, Enoch. I mean it.”
He gave her a serious nod, and she gave me a kiss on the head before dropping her hand from my back and leaving us alone. The action brought tears to my eyes, and I quickly blinked them away, hoping Enoch hadn’t noticed. Had my mother ever kissed me? Or had she hated me from the moment I was born until the moment she tried to kill me?
I followed his command and took a seat on the edge of the bed. He guided me with his hands on my hips until I was sitting with my back to him, and he got to work spraying my hair withan unfamiliar hair product. I closed my eyes, swaying slightly as I relaxed with the hairbrush working through my hair.
“I didn’t realize you had so much curl in your hair,” he muttered, combing his fingers through my scalp.
I shrugged, never having paid much attention to the texture of my hair. I guessed it was slightly wavy but not as noticeable as his hair. I realized he was braiding my hair and bit my cheek to stave off the urge to cry.Why do they have to be so caring and kind?
Enoch signaled he was finished with a pat on my back, and I popped my eyes open just long enough to flop down onto my side of the bed. I was ready to sleep but he nudged me with the Gatorade bottle. I groaned before pushing up just enough to take a sip without spilling. I was grateful to replace the lingering taste in my mouth with the cold berry flavor of the drink. I handed it back to Enoch and flopped back onto the pillow. Thankfully, he didn’t ask anything else of me before turning off the lights and climbing into bed behind me.
“Just wake me up if you need anything, okay?”
“Yeah.”
Enoch’s hand made a lulling rhythm of strokes from the crown of my head to my lower back, and I selfishly wished I could stay with him forever.
Thirty-Seven
November 28, Sunday
Shiloh
Church was boring as fuck, once again. I got there and was immediately bombarded by my welcoming committee. Reformation Church had a relatively large congregation, nothing like a Texas megachurch, but large, nonetheless. Easily five hundred people or more. Yet they knew I was fresh meat the second I was greeted at the doors.
May-Lynn, my designated welcoming committee party of one who I’d met the first time I attended, was glued to my damn side once she saw me. She was nice, but if I had to hear one more fucking comment about how I was so blessed to have been shepherded by Reverend Kit Walsh and his son Elder Theodore, I was going to punch her in the boob.
She made me sit next to her and her gaggle of other single women just like previous times, and I tried my best to find an ounce of energy that would make me seem likable.
When I mentioned to May-Lynn that I was going to be joining RLS she led me to the group of Elders post-service, insisting that I meet with them again. They were all huddled around a table just outside the cafe located inside the church’s reception area. I spied Theo with his back to me, and I held my breath when May-Lynn tapped him on the shoulder.
