Fuck, shut up!
“How does justice feel, Shiloh?”
I squeezed my eyes shut, taking a deep breath before slowly releasing it.
“Hey, Seb. Happy birthday.”
He sighed, squeezing me gently for a moment. “Thanks. I…I can’t help but think about you and him though. It just sucks knowing he’s not here and he won’t ever get a chance to celebrate another birthday.”
My heart broke inside my chest, tears starting to form and I clenched my jaw tightly.Do not fucking cry, you weak fucking puta. You will not ruin his party.
Eden entered carrying a cake and the room grew silent. Seb kissed the top of my head as the crowd began singing happy birthday to him. He straightened, chuckling as he took the empty chair beside me where Eden placed the cake already lit with candles.
I felt like someone was watching me. I scanned the kitchen to see that Enoch was standing in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest staring at us. He gave me a quick smile when our eyes met before the song ended. I turned to see Seb blow out his candles and everyone clapped.
How the fuck am I supposed to just leave them? Leave this bubble of happiness, leave these people that actually give a damn about me?
Hell, tonight could be the last night we’re even together. I could be leaving for RLS come Sunday.
Fuck! I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.
I forced a smile when Seb looked my way, offering me a slice of cake. I stared at the chocolate cake with white frosting and resisted the urge to throw it across the room. I was an imposter, a fraud, and the guilt of everything I’d done and was yet to do when I left them was suffocating me.
???
I sighed in relief as I slipped into a pair of Enoch’s sweats. My stomach was way too full to be comfortable in my high waisted leggings a minute longer. I glanced in the mirror at my reflection, trying to smooth out the braid I had ruffled after removing my sweatshirt. I let out a huff, switching the light off and heading back to the living room.
Enoch was putting a fitted sheet on the pull-out couch, only wearing a pair of plaid pajama pants, his muscles in his back flexing as he lifted the mattress to tuck the sheet underneath.
“Hey,” he said, checking out my new outfit with a smile.
I smiled, walking towards the bed and picking up a pillow from the floor to put on a fresh pillowcase.
“Are you sure it’s okay for me to sleep with you?” I asked. “I mean, sleep in the bed with you.”
He smirked at my words and laughed softly. “I’ve been severely warned against unprotected sex by any and every adult in my life after my sister got unexpectedly pregnant in college. So, no one cares. Least of all my sister. She’s not the type tocockblock. Not that we’reactuallyhaving sex tonight.” He threw the pillow in his hands at me and chuckled. “Relax. It’s okay. Unless you’re uncomfortable? I can always take the floor.”
My stomach flipped and I shook my head, not sure what to say without sounding like a dumbass.
Yeah, no, I love sleeping next to you, Enoch. It’s the best feeling in the world. I love it when you hold me until we fall asleep. I love waking up next to you knowing I’m safe. I like pretending that this is my real life, that I can stay here with you forever.
I cleared my throat, throwing the pillow onto the side of the bed I was going to sleep on and sat down as Enoch shook out the comforter on top of me. When he was done, he switched off the overhead light and climbed in beside me. I made myself comfortable, staring into the darkness as my eyes adjusted.
“Did you have a good time?”
I sighed through my nose and rolled my eyes. “For the millionth fucking time, yes. I had a great time, Enoch. And I was thoroughly doted on by not only Baba but also Rosa. I swear, your Baba thinks I’m actually her grandchild with how much concern she had when she found out I’d been sick the other day. Thanks for that by the way,” I said with a sarcastic smile in his direction. “I think she would have force fed me thirds if I hadn’t told her I was on the verge of puking my stomach was so full.”
I could finally see enough in the dimly lit room to make out his face about eight inches away from mine. He chuckled, the mint from his toothpaste fanning over my face.
“Good. You deserve to be doted on.”
I rolled my eyes, and he adjusted his position on the mattress, scooting a couple inches closer to me.
“So, you mentioned earlier with Jae that you were going to get a job after graduation. Are you planning to move out then?”
I furrowed my brows, squinting into the darkness, wishing I could read his face to see where his line of questioning was going.
“Yeah, I’m planning to move out as soon as I can,” I said. It wasn’t a lie, just not the whole truth.
