“Oh, no…I didn’t mean it as a judgement or anything. It’s just wild to think about how much has changed since the last time I saw him.”
I hummed in agreement, nodding absently as I focused on the road. “Yeah, when was the last time you guys had seen each other?”
“Uh, jeez, I dunno. At least seven, or maybe eight years ago.”
“Yeah, I can imagine a lot has changed since he was fourteen. You guys were close?”
Shiloh shrugged. “I guess so. I honestly don’t really remember much of my childhood, but from what I do remember he was like an extra older brother.”
I glanced over to see Shiloh chewing her lip in thought as she stared out the window. “He was different than my brother. More…gentle. He tended to baby me more than Javier did, more than anyone else in my life did, and I think I kind of liked that. My dad and my brother weren’t really emotional people, I guessyou could say. But Sebastian…I dunno, he was just different. He’d hug me and ask me about my day, carry my backpack when we walked home from school, and goof around to cheer me up if I was sad. He was just…Seb. And then he was gone.”
“And you guys or your brother and he didn’t stay in touch?”
Shiloh sighed, fidgeting with the hem of her sweatshirt. “Not that I know of. Seb’s uncle had purchased a farm, you’ve seen ‘em probably, all those cornfields west of the lake. Anyways, Seb’s dad was going to move them all onto the property to work with his brother, but his mom saw it as a chance to escape. His dad’s a real piece of shit and she saw her opportunity to get out and took it.”
I blinked, slightly stunned by the information. I had speculated but hearing it from Shiloh meant that I was right about Sebastian experiencing abuse. I wondered if it was difficult for him to return to Granby so often.
“His dad’s still in Granby?”
“Yeah,” she mumbled.
We let the music fill the silence and I hummed along to the beat, drumming my fingers against the steering wheel as I drove. Jae looked like he’d fallen asleep in the back. I turned the music down when I heard Shiloh sniffle and saw her hand quickly brush at her cheeks.
“Hey,” I crooned. “What’s wrong?”
I placed a hand on her knee as I tried to get a peek at her face while driving safely. I saw her wipe her nose on her sleeve in my peripheral and gave her leg a light squeeze.
“I swear I’ve cried more times in my entire life since I met you. This stupid fucking song is really sad.”
I looked at the media console to see what song was even playing and I realized it was pretty melancholy.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” I said as I scrambled to change to a more upbeat playlist.
I chewed on my lip nervously as I continued watching Shiloh in my peripheral vision.I’m so stupid.I didn’t even think about the music I was playing in the car. I just liked the sound of it, the lyrics tuned out as background noise.
“Are your eyes bad?” I asked softly, returning my hand to the steering wheel so I could make a turn.
“Um, sort of,” she mumbled, flipping the passenger visor down to look at herself in the mirror.
She laughed at herself, shutting the mirror and turning to face me directly.
“I can’t see for shit,” she chuckled. “I’m assuming I look like a raccoon just tried to scratch my eyes out?”
I stifled a laugh, biting my lip. Not because she looked funny, but because of her self-deprecating humor.
“I’m getting off here to stop at the gas station and get you something cold to put on your eyes,” I said.
“Great,” she groaned. “I always have something wrong with me when I see your family. They probably think I’m psychotic.”
I could hear the bitterness as she muttered her last words, and I scowled.
“Shy,” I drawled. “You’re not psychotic. Don’t say that. And don’t listen to anything else that douchebag said before I got there, okay?”
I gave her an‘I mean it’look not realizing until after that she probably couldn’t even see it. I pulled into the Sunoco, parking right in front of the minimart.
“I’m heading inside. Do you want anything in particular?”
“No,” she mumbled, tipping her head back against the seat with her eyes closed.
