He stepped to the side so that I could move out of the doorway and crossed his arms over his chest, drawing attention to his toned biceps.Shiloh, stop checking him out.
He chewed his lip studying me with an intensity that made my stomach cramp. “Are you doing drugs?”
I choked on my saliva.
“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked when my airway had cleared.Seriously, where the fuck is this coming from?
He gave me a‘cut the shit’expression, and I felt a panic rise in my chest. I shoved that shit down and scowled. I glanced down the hall into the kitchen, straining my ears for any sign his family was near.
“What’d he give you?” he asked. “Last week, I saw you with Adrian and he gave you a pill. What was it?”
I clenched my jaw, doing what I did best, avoiding the truth.
“So, you’re spying on me now?”
“You didn’t answer my question,” Enoch stated, unfazed by my attitude.
I let out a groan, looking around us for a reason to escape the situation I was in. Other than knocking myself unconscious or puking on the floor, I was out of options.Fuck, maybe the wave of nausea will come back and save me from answering.
“Shiloh,” he sighed, reaching out for my hand. “I want to be there for you, I do. I can’t do that if you don’t talk to me. You saidyou were sick. Jae and I were dropping stuff off to help you feel better only to find you taking a pill from Adrian and looking like you were going on a vacation. So…”
So that was what Jae was on about at lunch today. I shook my leg for something to do with the anxiety swelling in my chest. I met his patient gaze and bit into my cheek.
“I care about you,a lotactually. Drugs don’t need to be the answer, Shiloh. I can help you. You can get through this without numbing the pain.”
I let out a sigh, my eyes rolling, as I contemplated what my next words were going to be. I needed to get him to drop this. If his parents found out, if he got too curious, we would all be in danger.
“I’m not doing drugs, I swear. Not often anyways. I mean, maybe some weed every now and then but I’m not, like, addicted to drugs,” I said, pleading with my eyes for him to stop with the interrogation.
“Shiloh, I’m not stupid. You’ve been acting weird. We saw you taking a pill—from an older guy who frankly shouldn’t be dating or hanging with you in the first place. But I’m not going to get into how many issues I have with your ex right now,” Enoch said with an irritated look. “Why can’t you just tell me the truth?”
“Fuck, Enoch. I don’t abuse drugs. Just the occasional marijuana, but, like, what teenager doesn’t?” I said with exasperation, my stomach flipping as I tried to ignore the fact that I didn’t mention the other drugs I’d snorted in the recent past or the aforementioned pill Adrian gave me last week.
Enoch’s irritation deflated as he contemplated my explanation.
“So, then what did he give you and why did you lie and say you were sick?
I let out a huff of exhaustion, closing my eyes, my brain spinning lies I could tell him.
“I don’t want to ruin this. I don’t want you to…” I trailed off, opening my eyes to study his face.I don’t want you to know who I really am. I don’t want you to get hurt.
His thick brows were raised slightly as he looked up at me through his lashes, listening intently. Enoch’s hand suddenly squeezed mine.
“You don’t want me to do what?” he asked gently.
“I don’t,” I sighed again, the anxiety becoming unbearable. “I don’t want you to stop caring about me.”
“Shy,” he said with a serious face, “I’m not going to stop caring about you if you’re honest with me. I promise that I’m not going to walk away from you because of whatever it is that’s going on.”
Bull-fucking-shit.
“I just want you to tell me the truth,” he added, grabbing my other hand and squeezing tightly, as he took a step closer to me.
I couldn’t be honest. If he knew I was in Los Siete, he’d be in danger. And he’d definitely tell his dad, a fucking cop no less, who may or may not already be in Carlos’s pocket and keeping tabs on me. And Seb would find out, and he’d get dragged into Los Siete’s mess. They’d all be in danger. If Adrian didn’t keep his mouth shut, if Carlos found out about Enoch’s family and they weren’t already involved…The guilt made my chest burn. What the hell was I fucking doing?
I can’t have any more people I care about getting hurt.
I can’t.
