“You can’t talk to Javier because he’s gone.” Shiloh balled her free hand into a fist against her side, and I was worried for a moment that she might punch him.
“Where is he then?”
“Gone,” she glared up at him fiercely.
“You mean, like, he’s gone with some friends or like…he move away permanently?” Sebastian asked slowly, almost like he didn’t really want to know the answer.
Shy didn’t respond, just stared up at him.
“No, no fucking way. He’d never leave you. Never,” Javier shook his head in disbelief. “He’s always acted like your father. He’d never just abandon you.”
“I couldn’t stop it,” she croaked, and I looked down at her face to see that her eyes were misty.
Fuck, she’s crying.
I wrapped my arm around her waist and turned her to face me directly. Her lip was wobbling despite how hard she looked like she was trying not to cry.
“He made the choice to kill himself, it wasnotyour fault,” I said firmly.
“Woah, woah, what the fuck are you talking about?” Sebastian asked almost hysterically, shaking Shiloh’s shoulder when she didn’t respond. “He’sdead?”
Sebastian breathed out and slumped against the wall as if someone had punched him in the gut.
“Shiloh, he’d never…he wouldn’t just leave you. He’d never do that. Right?”
Shiloh shook her head, and I placed my hands on either side of her face to wipe her tears.
“Shy, you gotta calm down. Let’s go get you some ice,” I said softly.
“Right, Shiloh?” Sebastian almost shouted, causing her to release a sob.
“I don’t fucking know anymore! But he’s dead, Sebastian!”
“When?” Sebastian whispered, not bothering to wipe the tears falling down his face.
“A month ago.”
Shiloh started sobbing uncontrollably and I crushed her against my chest running my hand through her hair.
“Dude, back off. She needs to go get some ice for her eyes,” I firmly told Sebastian.
His eyes went wide, and he quickly muttered some curse words.
“Fuck, Shiloh. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I forgot,” he said wiping his face as I led her into the kitchen.
My mom was about to ask what was going on, but I shook my head at her. I held onto Shy as her crying subsided and she mumbled several expletives against my chest.
“Here,” Sebastian said softly, holding out a towel with ice.
Shiloh pulled away, giving us a view of her swollen and puffy eyes. “Shut up,” she croaked, taking the ice and pressing it over her eyes.
Sebastian and I stood there awkwardly, my mom still finishing up the dishes with Esty in the background. After several minutes, Shiloh removed the ice and used the towel to wipe her nose.
“I’m sorry I lied,” she said hoarsely, her eyes swollen shut.
“No, I’m sorry for pushing you. I shouldn’t have made you cry. I’m really sorry,” Sebastian said, grabbing her free hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “I know it’s probably a stupid question, but how are you holding up alone? Do you want to come stay with Eden and I?”
Shiloh sniffled, letting out a shaky deep breath before responding.
