Marge watched her gorgeous Estelle go, thinking that her daughter had no idea that the woman they were trying to track down was a keeper of a secret that could change Estelle’s life.
And then she closed her eyes.
15
AMBER
Amber stared at Murray, lying under a thin sheet on the hospital bed.She didn’t even think of him as Ray anymore.Ray was the attractive, smart, sexy man she’d been getting to know for the last two months.This guy – Murray fricking Atkins – was an obnoxious, entitled, rude, bad tempered arse that she’d have run a mile from.‘Ray’ was dead to her – and staring at Murray now, lying there with his eyes closed, she wondered if he was also deceased, or sleeping, or just feigning a coma to avoid having to talk to her.
If she was being honest, she was fine with at least two out of the three options, because since he’d been wheeled back from the X-ray department, he’d been even more irritable and irritating than before he went.She was seriously questioning why she’d ever seen anything attractive in this man.What was wrong with her?Was her judgement completely skewed after all those years of marriage?Or maybe it had always been that way.She used to think she’d picked a good one with Ewan, but look how that had turned out.Maybe it was time to face it – her decent-bloke radar was in need of some recalibration.
And she still had a very slight concern that her internal lie detector might have been unplugged at the wall too.She thought back to her question earlier.
‘Are you married?’When she’d said it, his face had twisted into something resembling disgust.
‘How could you ask me that?Is that the kind of man you think I am?’
She tried to remember the lessons she’d learned in a Basic Psychology course she’d taken as an additional module in sixth year at high school, swayed by the fact that the boy she’d had a crush on back then was doing it too.He’d ended up dating someone else and she’d dropped the course to join the gardening club instead.Clearly her man-radar was off then too.But back to the point.When someone answers a question with another question of their own, does that mean they’re appalled, deflecting or guilty?She really wished she’d paid more attention to the study material than the cute guy back then.
‘No, I’m not married,’ he’d answered with such categoric firmness and obvious offence that she felt terrible for asking.He did back-pedal slightly though.‘We’ve been separated for two years.’
Separated?Something didn’t seem right about that, and Amber had flipped back through their conversations, before replying, ‘You told me you were divorced.’
‘I am.That’s what I mean.We split up years ago.We’re divorced.’
Amber had wanted to believe him.And, actually, she had to give him the benefit of the doubt, because he did have a suspected concussion and was probably still traumatised after his near-death altercation with SpongeBob.Of course he couldn’t be married.That would be ridiculous.Before their first date, she’d briefly googled him, but the information online was sketchy and there had been nothing new for a couple of years.He’d told her that, as a doctor, he kept his personal life off social media to protect his privacy and that had made sense to her.Although, now she was beginning to question everything.
Before she’d been able to delve any deeper, the porter had arrived to sweep him round to X-ray, leaving her alone.
When he’d been wheeled out, she’d leaned her head back against the white wall of the room and closed her eyes.What.A.Shitshow.If this was single life, you could keep it.
She’d felt a familiar mini-wave of fury tighten her chest.Damn Ewan for doing this to them.Damn him for wrecking what she thought was a perfectly happy marriage, just for the sake of a quick shag.And yes, for many months now she’d prided herself on her belief that she was over it, moved on, searched for the positives, found them and made the best of the situation – but now she just wanted to punch him in the willy and berate him for breaking their family again.And she also wanted to cry.Today seemed to have opened the tap on a whole keg of emotions that she’d been allowing to quietly ferment in the background for months.And yet… all she wanted to do right now was speak to the people who mattered.
She’d pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialled Ewan’s number.When he answered, it had taken every ounce of effort she had left to make her voice sound normal and not like she was stressed, upset, on the verge of a full-scale meltdown and more than a little pissed off with her ex-husband, the man she’d slept with this morning and herself.
‘Hey, just checking in.All good?’
‘Yup,’ he’d confirmed, and either he was having a medical episode or his mouth was full because he sounded altered.She’d crossed her fingers for the food, because she’d had enough hospitals for the day.‘Me and the kids are on the couch eating popcorn and watchingMonsters, Inc.Don’t judge me.The old ones are the best.’
She hadn’t disagreed.‘Can I say hi to the kids?’
‘Of course.Alfie, Sid – that’s your mum on the phone.’
They usually checked in with the kids at least once a day when they were with the other parent, so she’d known he wouldn’t think there was anything odd in that.
‘Mum, we’re having a popcorn party.Can you come?’
That came from Sid, and the cracking sound was a chisel taking a piece off her heart.
‘Oh honey, you know I’d love to, but this is Daddy’s special day when he gets you guys all to himself.’
‘S’pose,’ Sid had replied, and Amber could picture his face and the disappointed slump of his shoulders.The chisel cracked another piece right off.
She’d chatted to both boys for a couple of minutes before they’d given the phone back to Ewan.
‘I’ll send some popcorn back over with the boys so you don’t feel left out.’
She’d wanted to reply that no amount of popcorn was going to solve that.She felt so left out she could barely breathe.And once again that threw up a whole mix of emotions: love, sadness, regret and fury at him for causing this.
