God, just the feeling of being completely helpless under his hand, at his mercy would be enough to drive this never-ending horror show that is my dad from my mind.Pathetic.That's how I feel, but honestly, I'd endure almost anything to erase these horrible feelings inside me.At this point, it doesn't matter if it's my stepbrother doing it.
"Ahh," he finally says as he hands it back."Just as I thought.All her other classes are A's.If she were out there partying and getting into mischief, wouldn't all the grades be bad?In my field, we would call this an anomaly.Couple that with her calling me for help, and I'd say she did try her best."
"I got a B+ on my final," I add, showing my dad the grade."I didn't tell you I was doing so badly because I thought the B would fix it.It didn't fix it.I don't know why it didn't.I did try.I tried my best.But I never understood anything.He never went by the book.When I went to the tutors, they couldn't help me because I never even learned the basics from him."
He glances over at Nate as if to see if he'll corroborate my story.As if my word alone isn't good enough.But of course it's not.Slinking back, I clutch my phone to my chest.All it does is confirm that I still need to make money on my own so he can't own me anymore.I can't let him keep having this misguided power over me.
"And who's this teacher?"he finally grinds out.
"A visiting professor,” I nearly whimper.“Based on what others said, I don't think he normally teaches there.The professor I was supposed to have had to call out for an emergency."
"You know," Linda finally chimes in as everything starts to de-escalate, "Nate didn't always do well in his classes either.There were several where he just skated by with a D.And look at how well he turned out.Lila's a good girl.And I believe Nate.If he says she tried, then I believe him."
The Alpha in question pulls out his phone and shows the call logs where we chatted every day until the final.Though it stings that neither will believe me based on my merits and only on his, I'm grateful he's here to act as a buffer, a go-between to calm my father down.
With a heavy sigh, Dad shakes his head and opens his arms for a hug.My stomach churns as I step over to him, detesting this part of our demented ritual.It's all for him.It's so he can feel better.A hug never fixes it for me.And yet, I wrap my arms around his waist as all the fear, anger, and resentment boil inside.
"I suppose you can keep going to school.But next time, tell me first if you're having a problem.I don't want to know about it this late when nothing can be done.Now go upstairs and get dressed so we can all go out for breakfast.I'll send a message to the dean letting him know about his faculty and how inept some of his staff are."
"Sounds great, Dad," I croak, my voice thick with emotion.
Knowing him, he probably thinks it's out of gratitude.His hubris would allow no other thought.I climb the stairs as I force my emotions to stay in check before fleeing to my room to shut and lock my door.
Tears flow from my eyes as I bury my face in the pillow and just sob.It's not until Nate's scent assaults my nose that I realize I'm no longer alone.Despite the sorrow lancing my heart, that spicy, masculine smell makes my body respond even when I'm crying.Stupid bathroom.I forgot to lock that one too.
Rising, I smear the tears away and give him a watery smile."Thank you.I don't think he would have ever listened to me if you hadn't helped."
"Is it always like this?I don't remember him acting this way when I was still home."
"He wasn't.For those few years, your mom transformed him.Then, after you left, it turned to this.Like, he was always protective of me, especially after—well, you know.But it's morphed over the years.It cuts now instead of shields."
"Ahhh."So much in so little a word.
He sits down next to me and holds out his hand for mine, but I don't take it.I can't handle any sort of kindness right now.Not when I'm so desperate to put my carefully constructed walls back into place.
Another sigh drifts from his lips as he pulls his other hand out from behind him.A big sack hangs there, bulging with different colors.From what I can smell, it’s the candy he promised me.Desperate to disassociate, to make my mind stop obsessing over decisions already made, I take it from him and dig around.
German gummies and chocolates of all kinds lay nestled in there, their packages gleaming.“Are you trying to make me fat?”I tease as I open up the gummy bears and pop one in.
“Perish the thought,” he teases.“But I remember you having quite the sweet tooth.Glad to know some things never change.”
But so many other things have.The unspoken sentence just hangs in the air between us.
Unable to stand the silence, I turn my attention to something else.The sweet taste is a good distraction as we both sit there in silence as I suck on it.Every now and then, I catch him looking, and it’s this intense stare that makes my insides clench.He has no right looking at me that way.Just like I have no right getting so wet at the barely-concealed lust in his eyes.
Coughing, he turns to stare straight ahead as I continue to nibble on the candy."I'm not defending him, mind you.But is it possible it's still a shield?Only, now that you're older, you're slamming yourself against the metal edges instead of staying behind it?Not that I blame you.At some point, you need to be free to do what you want."
"Honestly?No.Something broke in my dad the day my mom died.I just didn't think it would ever turn onto me.Hell, I thought, if anything, your mom would get the brunt of it.But he adores her.He worships the ground she walks on.Bonds are weird, I guess."
"He… He doesn't hit you.Does he?"he asks again, echoing that night I called him frantic and horny.
But I get why he’s so concerned.If I had just seen that interaction, I would question it too.
A dry laugh bursts from between my lips."He doesn't have to.Not when his words do just enough damage.Not when every gift comes with strings so thick you could hang yourself with them.Not when he controls nearly every aspect of everything.He doesn't have to hit me for it to hurt."
"And have you said anything?"
"What could I say?Honestly.You've only been around him for what, two years?Three maybe?Once you left, that was it.No one else sees him like this.No one else feels the cut of his words as I do."
