“Huh.” I settled back to lean on Evan. “I’m not going to be mad about having a guardian angel. Thanks, Mikko.”
Mikko shrugged, then retreated back to his usual position, slipping a shoulder behind Robbie’s where they sat side by side on the love seat, thighs pressed tight together.
Straight, my gay ass.
“Alright,” Alan announced, standing up. “As much as I hate to be the heavy, I think it’s time we all got some rest.”
“I think he’s kicking us out,” Shaw stage-whispered to his team.
“I think I’m ready for bed,” one of the boys piped up. “Who knew the curling world was so full of drama.”
“Get used to it, son,” Shaw said. “It’s a veritable soap opera up in here.”
Both boys cast significant looks between Shaw and Darby.
“You don’t say,” one of them said with an eye roll that made me snicker.
“Git,” Shaw told them as he stood, ignoring his implication. “We’ll swing by in the morning to say goodbye, yeah? Here or the rink?”
“Here,” Alan said. “We all need a day off, I think.”
After we’d all retreated to our various rooms, Alan slumped against the dresser. “I am so sorry,” he told us, gaze fixed on nothing.
“Why?” Evan sounded truly confused.
“I should have realized you were all feeling so much pressure.”
“Of course we’re feeling pressure,” Evan said. “It’s the Olympics and none of us have ever done this before. I looked it up. We’re literally the only fully rookie team there. Did you know that?”
“Peripherally, yes, but I guess I didn’t think what that might mean to you. I’ve been strategically trying to get here for a decade.”
“Strategically?” Evan asked. “When did we stop being a strategy?” I saw it then. The sudden insecurity that he’d miscalculated, read something wrong, been operating under some rule or idea he’d misunderstood. Logic broke for him, sometimes, and I knew that, but I hadn’t expected it happen withAlan, to make him doubt the three of us or panic over Alan’s sincerity.
Alan looked to me, panic all over his face, now too. “What did I just say?”
I viscerally knew how Alan felt, that sudden panic that he’d said the wrong thing, that Evan, having been mortally insulted by some lack, was about to walk out the door.
“No one is about to bolt,” I told them. “No one is changing their mind.”
It was so weird, watching them look at me, like I was dumb, because of course they weren’t going anywhere, what the hell? And at the same time, like I was dumb, because of course, the other person was about to vanish out the door, couldn’t I see that?
“Ev, we don’t have to be curlers to be Alan’s. It’s hella convenient because if we weren’t, we’d never see him. Because you’ve been here all year and you know this is a crazy life.”
He nodded.
“He’s right,” Alan said. “I’ve said it before. This,us, is bigger than any medal.”
“I know you said it.” He slumped.
Alan surged across the room and took Evan’s face in his hands. “I don’t care about the team right now, okay? You are not replaceable. Not to me.”
“But strategically, Robbie makes more sense.” Evan stared up at him, eyes brimming. “You didn’t even need me in the end.”
“Robbie’s nice and all but he’s not you. He’s not feisty and excitable and talkative, and vibrant…” He yanked Evan into his arms. “He’s not you.”
When Evan finally relaxed into the embrace, I relaxed a bit too.
“He’s not as easy as me, either,” Evan said with a soggy chuckle.
