“C’est une équipe solide. Une équipe gagnante,” Carol said. “Presque comme une famille.”
“Like a family.” That didn’t need translation, and another bit of the puzzle slotted into place at his words.
Their observations solidified what I had hoped was true, and not just my bias. They felt the team was stronger, with a few inexperienced but enthusiastic players over the jaded, admittedly good, but less empathetic members.
I’d always tried to be team-oriented but Michael and Carol were right. Towards the end of our run with Jason and Cameron, I had been leaning more towards needing to be good enough to win, over needing to be tight and strong as a team.
“I’m sorry I did that to us, you guys,” I said.
“We were all in that boat together,” Michael assured me. “It wasn’t just you.” He held a hand out to Carol who had gone to sit with him. “This is better.”
And it was, because as I watched them rearrange themselves on the small couch, I realized their closeness had a different feel to it lately. Less clinging. More relaxed and subconscious. More like touching was just what they did, and not what they needed to remain stable.
Much as I wanted Evan and Perry in my life and had a definite point of view where they were concerned, I could see, watching my two oldest friends, that the pair brought a new, sweeter energy to the entire team.
“Stop thinking so loud and go see what’s taking them so long,” Michael suggested. “Let’s get this party started.”
After that, I chuckled to myself every time I remembered that evening, and how very low-key and not a party it had been.More like, it had been downright domestic, and if the very non-traditional bonds wouldn’t have given my grandmother conniptions, she would have been so proud.
But it was the moment, in my mind and heart, where things changed. Wondering why it was taking me so long to figure out the physical aspect then kept me awake at night. Even after I gave in to my very real desire to be close to them at all times, and we moved rooms so we could all be in one space, I lay in my own bed, wondering what my last problem was.
CHAPTER 23
EVAN
That night,sitting around the table in mid-March—seven months ago, now—had felt like a turning point then, and even now, stuck in my head as important.
Perry had called work the next day to tell them he could no longer accept assignments unless they had open-ended due dates. It was time, he’d told them, to put his Olympic dream first.
I’d expected him to be let go but his firm agreed without pause, even giving him a stipend so he could continue his training over the summer without worrying about his income. He’d been pleased by that, joking that a big-time architectural firm had decided they couldn’t be outdone by my tiny, locally owned and operated coffee shop.
My boss had banners for our team, pictures, and even a signature drink called Evan’s Cherry Cream Whipp—which, I mean, I didn’t even want to contemplate how long the sweet old guy had brainstormed that name so I wasn’t going to be the one to tell him—to celebrate us. He’d set up a fund for the team that customers contributed to, and that the team and I had agreed would be donated to a kid’s curling program eventually.
The extra money from Perry’s firm was nice to have, though with some careful management, we could have made do with mine. Since we’d sublet our apartment to the boys from Timmins, we didn’t have that set of bills to worry about, and the team’s budget paid for our current accommodations with the rest of the team.
Now, mid-October, staring down the final month before the official Olympic Trials, I was a mess of nerves and bouncing energy no amount of practice, workouts, or running could calm down.
Sure, Perry and I sexed it up most nights, still. In fact, we had enough apparently loud sex that the others had moved us to the big room Robbie and Mikko had been sharing, because it was the most insulated from their rooms, and from the rest of the house.
Fair enough.
It was also nice, because it was one huge room with two beds. In less than a week, Alan had also moved in there, rearranged the furniture so the beds were next to each other, and settled in. That had happened in early summer. I was still waiting for the time when close together was all the way together, but I guess these things happened at their own pace.
That is to say, glacial.
“To be fair,” Robbie said one day when the two of us were hanging out in his room, “you’ve always been the fast and loose one.”
I threw a balled-up napkin at his head.
“Speaking truth, my dude.”
“Okay, well, that is valid and based.” I grimaced. “Maybe I’m too loose? Do you think that’s the problem? Maybe he just doesn’t want to be a number.”
“No, no.” He sat up from where he’d been lounging against the end of the bed, playingMario Kart. “Don’t do that. You don’tget to shame yourself for being sex positive. No one else does, so don’t you start now.”
“Maybe Alan secretly does and that’s why he hasn’t—you know.”
“Llalalala no I don’t know, and I don’t want to know.”
