“Your friends are funny.”
He smiles crookedly. “Depends on the day.”
That crooked smile again…
We head to my room and delve into the world of William Shakespeare.
***
My math teacher is running late on Wednesday morning. Most of the kids are chatting, goofing around, texting, or are on social media. I could spend the time getting some homework done or preparing for my next class, maybe do some more work on the Shakespeare project. But there’s only one thing my mind and heart are itching to do.
Looking to my right and left to make sure no one is paying attention to me—they never are—I reach for my special folder that I always carry with me in my backpack. Inside is every single song I’ve written. The good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between. I rip them out of my lyrics notebook once they’re complete and place them in the special folder.
Sometimes I feel proud when I look them over while other times I want the floor to swallow me up.
I flip through them, my eyes skimming over them. They all bring me back to what I was feeling when I wrote the songs. Not all of them are about love. One of my favorites is the one I wroteafter Carly, Sophie, and I met up after I got back from camp. Even though we were only apart for six weeks, I missed them like crazy. Hanging out with them after so long felt like my heart was whole, especially after it was shattered due to Kylen.
I guess the songisabout love, but a different kind of love. The unbreakable bond of friendship. Now with Addie, our bond is as strong as ever. I believe we’ll always remain best friends, no matter what life throws at us. Right now, we all live in different parts of the country, but I know in my heart that we’ll settle down near each other and raise our kids together. Who knows, maybe they’ll be best friends, too.
My eyes catch sight of another song, this one stashed carefully between two other songs. I treat it like porcelain because it’s one of the first songs I’ve ever written. There are a lot of notes and corrections on this paper, since I’m always tweaking it, though the original is saved somewhere on my computer. Reading over this song always hurts because it’s about what happened between Kylen and me, but I read it every so often because I feel proud of it as well. I think it’s pretty good for an amateur. I guess I needed to pour my emotions into something, since I kept my feelings all to myself. I swear it helped me heal.
The song is called “I Don’t Need Your Kisses.” I don’t mention Kylen by name, and honestly, I don’t think you can tell it’s about the two of us because I tried to make it sound neutral. Basically, it’s about experiencing the perfect love story, only to lose it shortly after. It starts off innocent and full of hope, with dejection and hopelessness in the middle. And by the end? There’s hope once again. Hope that you can move on from the heartache, hope that you can find fulfillment in other parts of your life. Other people in your life. You don’t need that person. You don’t need their amazing kisses. You’re stronger after what you’ve been through. You can take on the world again.
Reading it over for the millionth time, I still manage to find some things to tweak. I’ve never been able to compose music to this particular song. I don’t know why. I’ve managed to compose music to some of my other songs, but this one? Nope. But it’s fine because this song will never see the light of day. It’ll remain hidden between two other songs all the years I’m on Earth.
My teacher walks in, forcing me to close my folder and drop it into my backpack. The day goes by as usual, with my having two pop quizzes, a really hard in-class assignment, and one of the most grueling PE classes I’ve ever had. By the time the day is over, I’m so exhausted that I face-plant on my bed.
I know I won’t be able to nap, though. Not when my brain knows I have tons of homework to do. So with a groan, I pull myself off my bed and make my way to my desk, throwing my backpack onto the table and unzipping it. Thankfully, Kylen and I decided not to meet up today, since we both have some research to do on our own and he has band practice. Having to deal with him would just make me even more drained.
As I reach into my backpack for my school notebook, my brows crease. Why are there loose pages at the bottom of my backpack?
After tossing my notebook onto my desk, I yank everything else out and then grab the pages. I gasp when I realize they’re from my lyrics folder. How on Earth did they fall out?
It must have happened when my math teacher walked in. I wasn’t careful and just dumped the folder into my backpack, not realizing that some of the pages fell out. A wave of guilt passes over me as I carefully place the bent ones on my desk and straighten them out. These songs are so precious to me. I don’t know what I would do if I lost them, especially because these are the only copies I have of most of them, not counting the raw drafts in my lyrics notebook.
After making sure they’re all straight, I add them back to my folder, then flip through them to make sure all of them are okay. My hand turns into a statue mid-flip when I realize I don’t see “I Don’t Need Your Kisses.” It’s not where it’s supposed to be between two other songs. In fact, those two songs, which acted like the song’s armor, were some of the ones that fell out. I quickly grab my backpack and rummage inside, desperately searching for the song. But the bottom of my backpack is empty.
“Oh no. Oh no, oh no, ohno.”
Throwing myself to the floor, I sweep my hands under my desk, my stomach swishing around as bile rises in my throat.This can’t be happening. Please don’t let this be happening. I lost my song? One of my most prized possessions? How could I let that happen?
“I don’t know what her problem was,” Sophie says as she, Carly, and Addie walk in. “Obviously I’m going to spend a lot of time at the principal’s apartment if my boyfriend is her son. Some kids could be so daft.”
“Maybe she has a hard time believing a Harrington is actually dating a scholarship kid like you,” Carly suggests. “Maybe she’s jealous.”
“Well, she should be jealous,” Sophie says. “Because I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world—Raven? What are you doing on the floor?”
I lift my head and find all three of them staring at me with raised brows.
“I lost something.”
“Do you need help looking?” Addie drops down next to me. “What are you looking for?”
“I…” I rub my forehead. “It’s one of my songs. You guys didn’t happen to see it, did you?”
“A song that you wrote?” Carly asks.
“Yes,” I groan. “I can’t believe I lost it. It’s so not like me.”
