Since I can’t play the games and I don’t want to return to my room, I go for a walk. The weather is cold, but it doesn’t bother me as I take a stroll around campus.
I shouldn’t have come here. If I knew she felt that strongly about me, I would have never set foot in here.
But I can’t transfer out because the education here could open many doors for me. And also, I don’t want to be ungrateful to my previous principal for specifically choosing me to attend. It looks like I’ll just have to bear it for the next year and a half.
Chapter Eight
Raven
I’m once again not in the mood to do anything.
I woke up at five this morning and was tossing and turning, trying to squeeze in another hour or two of sleep, but my brain refused to listen to me. I tried to work on my song, but I wasn’t in the mood for that either. That’s why I found myself in the rec room at six o’clock in the morning.
But it seems I’m not into gaming, either. Even Skee-Ball got boring after one round.
Sighing, I drop my controller on the sofa and reach for my phone, pulling up social media. My fingers immediately tap out Kylen’s name, and then his profile pops up. He doesn’t post a lot, just a few photos with his friends. The other guys post more often than him and tag him in many of the photos and videos. The camera really loves the dude, even when he’s taken completely off guard. My eyes linger on the smile that still warms something inside me, even though I keep telling myself toforgetabout him.
I remember the months following camp when I contemplated sending him a message. I didn’t have social media at the time because I didn’t have patience for it, but one night, I made an account on impulse and searched his name. I remember how much my heart ached when I saw his face after not hearing from him for months. He didn’t have many photos or videos, but he looked sonormal. Not like he was a mess. Maybe that was the reason I couldn’t bring myself to message him. Because he looked like he was pretty content with his life, a life that didn’t include me.
I load one of my favorite games and play. No one else has stepped foot in here because it’s way too early. The schoolunlocks all the rooms around six, so I have enough time to squeeze in a game before breakfast. I don’t usually come here this early, either, but when we have finals or days off, kids spend a lot of time here and it’s hard to get my hands on the Xbox. Those are the days when I try to drop by early to get some gaming in.
I’m glad to report that I don’t have a single Kylen thought as I play, but of course he enters my head the second I shut the TV and put the controller away.
It’s around seven o’clock now, when most of the students are waking up. The dining hall opens around this time every morning for breakfast. My friends should be coming down in half an hour or so, so I grab a tray and head to one of the buffet tables. Like every morning, there are many varieties of food one can choose. You’d think that after attending this school for two and a half years, I wouldn’t get excited at the sight of this delicious, gourmet food. But my stomach grumbles in glee every morning because there’s always some new surprises.
A chill rushes down my spine when I feel someone standing next to me. Slowly turning my head to the right, my body stiffens when I realize it’s Kylen. He’s scanning the different varieties of crepes, his forehead furrowed as though he’s making one of the hardest decisions in his life. It’s kind of cute…
I shut my eyes as I release a breath. I shouldnotbe having those kinds of thoughts.
His eyes move to the left, and that’s when he notices me. It looks like he’s about to smile, but I quickly pull my gaze away and grab a chocolate crepe, then move on to the next table. I can feel his eyes on my back.
After getting enough food, I turn around to head to my table and nearly collide with someone whose tray is packed with so much food that he can barely see over it. When he peeks out from behind the mountain of pancakes, my walls immediatelyshoot up. Because it’s Kylen. Seriously, are we being pulled together like magnets?
I quickly spin around and march away before we’re forced to say something to each other. After settling down at my table, I dig into my crepe and sigh happily.
Without my permission, my eyes wander to the center of the dining hall, to where Kylen sits. He’s alone at his table, eagerly munching on his pancakes. I try not to smile as I watch him devour the thing. I’m sure I wear the same expression when I eat the food. I’m telling you, this stuff really is the best food I’ve ever eaten in my life.
From what I can tell so far, it seems like he and his friends aren’t making friends with the other students. I mean, they’re friendly with everyone, but the kids learned pretty fast that none of them come from rich families. Some of the girls seemed into them in the beginning, but I guess they lost interest fast. The truth is, Kylen and his friends would fit in perfectly with my friends and me since we’re all scholarship students. But I can’t risk it. Maybe I would feel bad and would want to include him if he were alone, but since he has his friends to hang out with, I don’t see any reason to interact with him.
“There you are.” Sophie drops down in the seat next to me. “I was worried when I woke up and you weren’t in our room. You doing okay?”
“I’m good, thanks,” I tell her with a smile. “I was just hungry and came down early.”
“Same, I’m starving. Damian offered to get me food, and I told him to pile it on.” She nods to one of the buffet tables, where Damian is indeed loading lots of food onto two plates. I smile at how sweet it is that he’s getting food for her.
He joins us a few minutes later, and it’s not long before Carly, Ryder, Addie, and Caleb join us, too. We talk about many different topics, laughing and joking around. Despite how muchI’m enjoying my time with my friends, my eyes keep traveling to Kylen’s table.
His friends have joined him, too, all of them except for Beck. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s still in bed and will wake up when there are like five minutes before first period bell rings. The guys are goofing around and seem to be having a lot of fun. Kylen’s laughing too, but I can’t help but notice that there’s some sadness hidden in his eyes. Almost as if he wants to completely let loose and have fun with his friends, but something weighs heavily on his heart. It’s not me, right? Because it would suck if I’m the reason for his pain.
Yeah, right. As if his world revolves around mine. Whatever’s bothering him has nothing to do with me. I’m sure of it.
Jasper catches me watching them and waves, mouthing “Rave” just to annoy me. I roll my eyes at him. When Kylen follows his friend’s gaze and realizes I’m the object of his attention, the smile vanishes from his face. Our eyes linger on each other for a few seconds before I force them away.
“But the moviecanbe better than the book if it’s done right,” Carly is saying to Sophie.
“Notin any of our lifetimes.”
“Here we go again,” Addie mutters.
