“You know his name, Sophie.”
“I know,” she says with a laugh. “Forgive me. Kylen Barrett.”
“Yeah. I…” I push some hair behind my ear. “The truth is, I’ve been a little messed up since he arrived at Harrington. I don’t know how to make sense of my emotions. Seeing him in the flesh after all this time…” I shake my head. “I don’t know how to explain.”
“Well, you can try,” she offers. “We’re on scholarship. I’m sure we can keep up.”
That makes me laugh. “Okay. Thanks. You can text Addie and Carly to come over. We have some time before curfew.”
She hugs me. “Are you sure you want to talk about it? I don’t want to pressure you.”
I nod. “I do. You’re right that I should talk to you guys about it. It’s not healthy to keep it all bottled up inside me. And I know you guys will make me feel better.”
“Okay. I’ll text them to come over.”
She shoots off the text while I put my lyrics notebook away. I also stash my guitar in my closet. I was hoping strumming some chords would inspire me to write the perfect opening to my song, but my creative jug seems to be totally empty.
Carly and Addie arrive a few minutes later and lower themselves next to Sophie on her bed. I return to my bed and wring my hands in my lap.
“Sophie told us you want to talk to us about something, Raven?” Carly says.
I nod as I stare at my slippers. “I want to tell you guys a little bit about what happened between Kylen and me the summer after ninth grade.”
I know they must be extremely excited to finally hear about it, but I’m thankful they’re being cool about it and are wearing supportive expressions. Though Addie seems to be struggling to contain her intrigue more than the others.
“So we met at camp, obviously. I don’t want to go into too many details because I don’t want to relive it, but basically, we got close that summer. I…” My cheeks feel warm. “I know it sounds cliché, but I fell head over heels in love with him. He was so kind and sweet, so attentive and supportive. I didn’t have many friends there, and he and I were practically attached at the hip. It really was the perfect summer. Like a dream come true.”
“It sounds wonderful,” Sophie says.
“It was.” I swallow. “But I soon learned it was only one-sided. Kylen didn’t feel the same way about me.”
Their faces fall.
“Are you sure?” Addie asks.
“I confessed my love to him,” I say as I stare down at my knees. “I gave my heart to him and he…well, he stomped all over it.”
Carly’s hand flies over her mouth as her eyes widen. “Oh, Raven.” She gets up and gathers me in her arms. “I’m so sorry that happened. And ugh.” She rubs her forehead. “We teased you about it all this time, not knowing how painful it was for you. I’m so sorry.”
“Me, too.” Addie hurries to my side and gives me a big hug. “I was so obsessed with the idea of you guys having an epic love story that I didn’t realize I was hurting you. I’m so sorry, Raven. I feel so bad.”
“It’s okay,” I try to assure them, but Carly is also hugging me and telling me how sorry she is. “You couldn’t have known,” I tell them. “I should have opened up about it.”
“You didn’t owe us any explanations,” Addie says. “We should have been more sensitive about it.”
“It’s okay. I’m not hurt by you guys.” I take all of their hands in mine. “I’m glad I’m finally talking to you about it. It feels really good. Liberating.”
Sophie smiles in relief. “I was hoping it would be.”
“Seeing him at the assembly on Monday must have been so hard for you,” Carly says as they settle down next to me on my bed. “It probably felt like you were being stabbed in the heart with a million knives.”
“Yeah, kind of,” I say. “It was more like I was trying to figure out how I was going to avoid him because I never wanted to speak to him ever again.”
“And we kept trying to push you to him,” Addie says with a guilty expression. “I feel like such a rotten person.”
“It’s okay, Addie.” I close my arms around her with a smile. “I’m sure I would have done the same if the roles were reversed. You guys couldn’t have known how I felt when I didn’t tell you. I promise I’m okay.”
“Okay.” She offers me a small smile.
