He watches them for a short while before smiling. “They’re awesome.” Lowering his voice and leaning closer, he whispers, “They look like they’re in love, don’t they?”
I narrow my eyes as I study them. “I don’t know. It might just be part of the routine.”
“Really? That’s disappointing.”
I take his hands in mine and skate backwards. His jaw falls open as he gapes at my skates. “How are you doing that?” He tries to do the same, but he loses his balance and nearly smacks into the ice. I manage to hold him in place. “Never mind. I’m good.”
Still with our hands interlocked, we skate side by side, loving the feeling of sliding across the ice. I feel just as free as I did with the snowtubing. Maybe this whole trip has been liberating for me.
“You seem to be buried in your thoughts again,” he says.
“I’m just realizing how much of myself I was holding back. I’ve opened up a lot in the last few days and feel like a huge burden has been lifted off my heart.”
“I have noticed that you’re happier now,” he admits in a soft tone. “When I first came to Harrington, you were…”
“What?”
He shakes his head.
“You can tell me. I promise I won’t be offended.”
“You just seemed like you carried around a lot of pain.”
I slow down my skating as I stare at the spot before me. “Iwascarrying around a lot of pain.”
He closes his eyes for a second. “Because of me?”
I hesitate.
“It’s okay. You can tell me. I kind of deserve it.”
“No, you don’t. It was just a misunderstanding. I wish things hadn’t turned out the way they did, but they did and we can’t change that. I used to hold onto the past so strongly and refused to let go, but I’ve let go now. It doesn’t matter what we went through. All that matters is what we experience right now in the present.”
He slows down completely, and my hand gets yanked back because they’re still attached. Sliding over to me, he wraps an arm around my middle and gently pulls me to his chest. “I know I’ve apologized many times, but it still kills me that I hurt you. I really hate myself for that.”
I shake my head. “Don’t hate yourself. I hurt you, too. There’s no point tearing yourself up over it. Like I said, we can’t change the past.”
He slowly lifts his hand and caresses my cheek with the backs of his fingers. I feel the heat of his skin through the gloves, and it sends shivers down my spine. “Thanks for being so understanding. Thanks for being so forgiving. You’re right thatI can’t change the past, but it might take some time before I completely forgive myself.”
“I wish you would,” I whisper. “I don’t want you to be upset with yourself.”
He nods slowly. “I’ll try. Because I don’t want to carry around any negative emotion. Being with you makes me feel good. It makes me the happiest person on the planet. I don’t want anything to ruin that.”
“Me, either.”
His eyes dip to my lips before lifting back to my eyes. “Raven?”
“Yeah?” I breathe, my gaze dropping to his lips.
“I know we said we just want to be friends, but…”
“Yeah?” I whisper.
“I—” His body sways and then he crashes down to the ice, bringing me down with him. “Darn it. My butt again.”
My body has landed on top of his, with my face mere inches from his. I stare into his beautiful green eyes, getting lost in them. There are so many emotions shining inside them. Joy and hope and happiness and forgiveness. I don’t see any of the pain he had when he first came to Harrington.
My eyes drop to his lips again. His lips that look so inviting and enticing. I’ve been obsessing the last few nights over what it would feel like to kiss him again, wondering if it’d be better than the last time.Knowingthat it would, and yearning for the chance to experience it again. My friends’ words spin around in my head. I don’t have to wait for him to make the first move. I should go after what I want.
