Page 19 of Vigil


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I had undone them.

We had.

You’re welcome, I said.

Thank you, he said.

Suddenly, I was real. Real to him. There might, after all, he thought, be guides, guardian angels, spooks, phantoms, who, late in the game, showed up to help a guy along.

Tell Viv less drugs, he said.

I can’t, I said. You’ll have to tell her yourself.

And he tried, but nothing came out.

Maybe lift your arm, I said. Knock over the water glass on the side table.

He tried but nothing doing.

From up on the roof came a feeble Gallic cry.

Will you excuse me? I said.


I shot up through the ceiling and found the Frenchman on the roof, greatly weakened, tucked in against the chimney.

My goodness, I said. Is this as far as you got?

I am trying so hard, he said.

I know you are, I said.

You might be more helpful, he said.

I don’t understand what it is you’re trying to do, I said.

Perhaps you have gone swimming in a lake, he said.

Yes, I said. And recalled, involuntarily, “Dodd’s Lake,” Lloyd’s big warm legs closed tight around mine, our “boilermakers” on “duck-shaped floatie” between us.

Pleasant,oui? he said.

While, back “at camp,” above “pup-tent entry,” swirls “cut-apart-milk-carton lantern.”

As two “cans of beans” cook over “open fire.”

“Heinz” brand.

“Heinz” brand camping beans.

You’d put “marshmallow” on “stick.”

Hold “stick” over “fire.”

Yes, I said. Very pleasant.

Out there, in the sun, he said. All around you, trees. Beneath you, fish. Now: make that lake tiny. Place it in an oven. Heat it. Only a few degrees. The trees, the little trees, go brown. The fish? Things rupture within. And our tiny lake is ruined: white bellies, big stink. I have seen this. In Uzbekistan.