Shocked by what she just said, my frown deepens. “Are you crazy, Rissa? That’s not what I meant. You’re burning yourself out, and you need to slow down.”
“Yeah, I am crazy!” she retorts with bitter contempt on her tongue. “I was crazy enough to think that you were on my side. But of course, you don’t believe in me anymore.”
“Rissa! Will you stop this?” I exclaim, grabbing her wrist just as she attempts to walk away. To my surprise, she twists her arm and wriggles free from my grip.
“Leave me alone, Brooks!”
“What do you mean, I should leave you alone?!” I yell back as she turns to face me. “Where is all of this coming from?!”
“I don’t know,” she shrugs diffidently, her eyes glossing over with coldness. “Maybe you should ask Laura. You seem to care about her more.”
“Rissa! This has nothing to do with that woman!”
“Yeah?” Rissa scoffs. “That’s why you’ve been cold to me ever since she got hurt that night. You care about her, and you’re just pretending to care about this mate bond to do what’s right in the eyes of everyone who’s watching you. You don’t care about anything else but being the sub-alpha! You’ve never changed, and you never will!”
With her verbal lashing striking me in the heart, my jaw drops as I stare at her. My silence as I mull over her words gives her the chance to spin on her heel and march off.
This time, I don’t stop her, too stunned into place by shock as I watch her disappear beyond the pack den.
So, that’s what she thinks of me. She doesn’t believe I’ve changed or that what we share is special.
She thinks it’s all an act, while I’ve done nothing but defend her even when she wasn’t around.
My heart shatters as soon as she’s gone, her words stinging even now that she’s left me alone.
Wow…
And I’d thought that we shared something special, that she’d finally trusted me.
I was so wrong.
My hands curl into fists at my sides as I remind myself that this is exactly why I never allowed anyone in, and why I regarded the mate bond as a waste of my time in the first place.
I never should have allowed Rissa in if it meant I’d ever feel this much pain. As I swallow the lump that grows in my throat, I sniff to push aside the heartbreak, not wanting it to get the best of me.
No alpha should show weakness or crumble because of a she-wolf. I never let it happen before, and I definitely won’t allow it to consume me now.
Rissa has made up her mind about how she chooses to see me, and I’m done trying to prove myself to her. If I’m to remain an asshole in her eyes, then so be it.
I’m done.
Chapter 23 - Rissa
Brooks’s silence as I began walking away from him in the meadow was enough to tell me what I already suspected. His silence confirmed my suspicions, but what hurts the most is knowing that it was all an act.
Why did I ever allow myself to believe that it was any different? That he could change? Of course, he was just pretending to appease the Council and do what’s right in front of those in charge.
That’s why he bullied me in the past.
That’s why he was nice to me now.
It’s always an act to gain someone else’s approval.
I was the fool who got tricked by his antics, and now I’ve gotten my heart broken. Scoffing at my own miserable situation, I sniff back my tears and proceed into Brooks’s house, impulsively deciding that I can’t live here anymore.
What’s the point, anyway? I think as I drag my feet across the floor, my heart heavy as I pull myself up the stairs and enter the bedroom where my things were unpacked a few weeks ago.
I have to pack them again now, only taking a few invaluable possessions with me until I can figure out how to get the rest of my things back to my cottage. Brooks told me that it wasn’t safe out there, and I believed him. But it’s more dangerous being in his house when he doesn’t really want me here. It’s dangerous for my heart, and I can’t risk breaking it any more than it’s been broken already.
