I curse myself under my breath as I carry the omega into the main bedroom, laying her down and carefully covering herwith a blanket. Shaking my head in bitter contrition, a sense of self-loathing washes over me, keeping my gaze pinned to Rissa.
How could I have been so blind? So foolish?
No one else in the pack has ever outwardly shown hostility toward Rissa, except for me. In my determination to keep her away, I’d pushed her so far back that now she hates me.
She hasn’t felt the full effects of our destined bond, and it’s probably because she hasn’t unlocked the full extent of her powers yet. I’d heard about this from Alpha Elias and sub-Alpha Dawson when they discovered that their mates were not just witches, but their fated mates.
Patience.
That’s what I need to exercise, even if it’s the most painstakingly difficult task I’ve ever had to face. I want nothing more than to wake Rissa up with an embrace, press a kiss to her forehead, tell her that I’ll never leave her side, and will stand by her as she discovers more of her magic gifts.
I curl my hands into fists to stop myself, knowing that as soft and vulnerable as she is, she also has a feisty, fiery side to her. A side that I created because of my constant belittling of her. She had to adopt that side of her as a means of defense and protection.
Though I’m in charge of protecting her now, I know she won’t just easily accept it. But the least I can do is keep her here, under my watchful eyes, where no harm can ever come to her again.
That’s why I retreat to the guest bedroom in my own house, not wanting to frighten her if she finds me asleep in the same bed.
***
After a very restless night, I find myself in the kitchen, preparing breakfast just as the sun comes out and warms Girdwood. As I flip the sizzling pancake over in the pan, I hear gentle, hesitant footsteps making their way down the stairs, and I mentally brace myself for another verbal sparring match with Rissa.
I’m not looking forward to it, but I’ve already given myself a pep talk to prepare for this. I wait until she’s already in the kitchen before turning around slowly.
“Good morning, Rissa,” I bid with a warm smile, nodding over my shoulder at the stove. “Pancakes?”
A frown flits over her face as she hangs by the island table, wringing her hands together as she clears her throat. “I, er—we’re in your house,” she comments as her eyes wander the kitchen, as if pointedly avoiding making eye contact. “How did we get here?”
Flinching as I turn back to the stove, I deliberately avoid meeting her eyes as I explain how my injuries miraculously healed last night in the woods, and how I found her lying beside me, and carried her back to the village.
“I think it’s best if you stay here for a while,” I suggest, bracing for impact. “Your cottage is way too close to the forest, so it’s not safe for you out there.”
To my surprise, Rissa’s outrage doesn’t come, even when I turn back slowly and set a plate of pancakes in front of her. Instead, she remains cold and dissociated as if she didn’t just hear my suggestion.
I was expecting her to fight me over a decision I’ve spent all night mulling over.
Instead, she says, “I would just like to visit the lunas today.”
“Of course,” I reply instantly, relieved that she isn’t fighting me. “I’ll take you to them—”
“No,” she shakes her head as she looks up and meets my eyes with a cold glint in hers. “I would like to go alone. I need to speak to them privately. I need answers.” She shrugs nonchalantly. “I need to figure out what all of this means for me.
Gulping to digest her request, I slowly nod as I accept her need for space. I promised myself that I’d give her all the space she needs. At least she hasn’t declined my offer to stay at my place for her protection.
“S-sure,” I stammer. “I’ll arrange for your belongings to be brought over.”
Rissa nods in acceptance, but doesn’t say anything more, her lips pressed into a firm line.
As soon as she leaves the house without taking a bite of the pancakes I prepared for breakfast, it’s as if a part of me walks out the door, leaving me feeling empty.
The pang of longing I feel to be near Rissa is what cements something I already knew. But it’s something Rissa doesn’t know yet. She needs her friends now more than ever, her allies to help and guide her through this overwhelming time.
All I can do is let time run its course and bury these feelings that I have always been denying.
Chapter 11 - Rissa
Hugging my arms across my chest, I make my way toward the north side of the village, having to walk through the village square on a busy Friday morning. Passersby greet me warmly—those who know me from the clinic—but I feel so disassociated that I barely acknowledge them in my quest to find my so-called friends.
I’m not looking forward to seeing them, since they kept a secret from me and let the Elders spring the news of Yvonne’s vision on me without warning. It still hurts that they couldn’t trust me enough with the information, but I’ve decided that I have to face this.
