Even in the privacy of their chamber, even when he thought she was sleeping, he maintained that iron discipline.
Ada had felt his gaze on her before he left. Had sensed him pause at the door, looking back. The urge to open her eyes, to call him back, had been almost overwhelming.
But she'd stayed still. Let him go.
The door closed with a quiet click, and only then had Ada opened her eyes.
The chamber felt empty without him. Cold, despite the fire still burning low in the hearth. She pulled the blankets tighteraround herself, breathing in the scent of him that clung to the furs.
Ada's hand moved to her jaw, touched the bruise there gingerly. It hurt, but not as much as the rejection had.
"He daesnae trust me," she whispered to the empty room. "Still. After everythin', he daesnae trust me."
The thought burned worse than any of her physical injuries.
Ada threw back the blankets, stood despite the ache in her muscles. She had to move. Had to do something other than lie there dwelling on things she couldn't change.
She dressed carefully. Her hands trembled slightly as she worked, remnants of last night's fear still lingering in her system.
When she was presentable, or as presentable as she could be with a bruised face and split lip, Ada left the chamber. She wanted to see Mairi. Needed to talk to someone who might understand what she was feeling.
The corridors were busy with morning activity. Servants carrying water and linens, guards changing shifts, the smell of bread baking in the kitchens. Everything normal on the surface, but Ada could sense the tension underneath.
People stared as she passed. Their eyes caught on her bruised face, her split lip. Some looked away quickly, uncomfortable. Others offered small nods of respect, of sympathy.
Word had spread then. About the attack. About her rescue.
Ada kept her head high, refused to show how much their stares affected her. She was Lady of Barra now, whether she wanted the title or not. She couldn't afford to appear weak.
She found Mairi in the healing chambers, organizing supplies and humming softly to herself. The older woman looked up when Ada entered, her expression immediately shifting to concern.
"Ada! Lass, what are ye daein' out of bed? Ye should be restin'."
"I've rested enough." Ada closed the door behind her. "I needed tae see ye. Tae talk."
Mairi set down the herbs she'd been sorting, moved closer to examine Ada's face. Her touch was gentle as she tilted Ada's chin, checking the bruise and the split lip.
"It looks worse than it is," Ada said.
"It looks like someone hit ye hard enough tae knock sense from ye." Mairi's voice was sharp with anger.
"If Magnus hadnae gotten there when he did, I dinnae ken what would have happened." Ada's voice dropped.
"But he did. That's what matters." Mairi guided her to a stool, pressed a cup of willow bark tea into her hands. "Drink this. Fer the pain."
Ada sipped obediently, the bitter liquid coating her tongue. The warmth of it helped, loosening some of the tightness in her chest.
"How are ye really?" Mairi asked, pulling up another stool. "Nae just the bruises. How are ye?"
And that simple question, asked with such genuine concern, broke something loose in Ada. Tears welled up, spilled over before she could stop them.
"I dinnae ken," she whispered. "I should be grateful, shouldnae I? Magnus saved me. He fought fer me." Her voice cracked. "He was so gentle afterward. So careful. Like I mattered tae him."
"Because ye dae matter to him, lass."
"Then why," Ada stopped, wiped at her tears roughly. "Why willnae he let me in completely? Why daes he still hold himself back even after everythin'?"
Mairi was quiet for a moment, her weathered face thoughtful.
