"Aye, very normal." Claricia's expression turned serious. "Can I ask ye somethin'? And ye can tell me if I'm bein' too forward, but... has anyone spoken tae ye about what happens? On the weddin' night?"
Ada felt heat flood her cheeks. "What dae ye mean?"
"The marriage bed. The... consummation." Claricia's voice was gentle. "Did yer maither explain it tae ye? Or a sister, maybe? Because fer me that was one of the most scariest things and I dinnae want tae see a lass in me position."
"I dinnae have a maither. She died when I was young. And nay sisters either." Ada's hands twisted in her lap. "I ken... I mean, I've seen animals, so I ken the basic... idea. But..."
"But animals and people are nae quite the same thing," Claricia finished. She reached out and squeezed Ada's hand. "All right. Then let me explain a few things."
What followed was the most mortifying conversation Ada had ever experienced in her entire life.
Claricia was matter-of-fact, almost clinical in her descriptions, which somehow made it worse. She explained the mechanics—what Magnus would do, what Ada should expect, what would hurt at first but get better, if he was gentle about it.
Ada's face grew hotter with every word.
"And the important thing," Claricia continued, apparently oblivious to Ada's mounting horror, "is that ye tell him if ye dinnae want tae dae somethin'. A good man will listen. Will go slow. Erik was..." She smiled, a private, almost smug expression. "Well. He was very patient."
"Oh God," Ada whispered.
"I ken it sounds frightening, but it's nae bad at all once ye get past the first time. And Magnus strikes me as the type who'd rather die than hurt ye, so?—"
"Please stop talkin'." Ada pressed her hands to her burning cheeks. "I cannae—I'm going tae?—"
The room tilted slightly. Her vision went spotty at the edges.
"Ada? Are ye all right?"
"I'm fine, I just need—" Ada tried to stand, but her legs felt like water. "I just need?—"
A hand landed on her shoulder, warm and steadying.
"Easy," Magnus's voice said from behind her. "Ye look like ye're about tae faint."
Ada jerked away from his touch so violently she nearly fell. Her entire body felt like it was on fire. Every single thing Claricia had just explained flashed through her mind in vivid, mortifying detail, and suddenly Magnus was too close, too real, too?—
"I need to go." The words came out strangled. "I'm sorry, I just—I need tae?—"
She fled.
She heard Magnus call after her, heard Claricia's voice explaining something, but Ada didn't stop. She ran through the corridors, up the stairs to the east tower, and didn't stop until she was safely in her chamber with the door shut and barred behind her.
Then she pressed her back against the wood and tried to remember how to breathe.
Two days. In two days, she'd be married to Magnus. And on the wedding night, they'd—he'd—they'd have tae?—
Oh God.
Ada slid down to sit on the floor, her skirts pooling around her. Her heart was racing, her face still burning. She couldn't stop thinking about Claricia's words, about Magnus's hand on her shoulder, about the way his body had felt pressed against hers when they'd ridden together.
She'd thought she was prepared for the marriage. Thought she understood what it would mean.
But sitting there in the dark, imagining Magnus touching her the way Claricia had described, imagining letting him see her, be that close to her, that intimate?—
Ada wasn't prepared at all.
And she had two days to figure out how to be.
CHAPTER TEN
