“You are all I ever wanted, Hannah. Time and distance didn’t change that. If anything, it made my feelings for you stronger. Sometimes you just have to jump, baby.”
Her green eyes water before she whispers, “If I was all you ever wanted you would have never let me go.” Squeezing my hand, she continues, “Our breakup is so enmeshed with my dad dying. My mom’s mental health got so much worse after youwere gone. There are things you don’t know. Things that nobody does. I know it was a lifetime ago, but I don’t like remembering any of it. Please give me some more time.”
“I promise I’ll still be here when you are ready. I’ll wait as long as it takes.” There are so many things that I want to tell her. Things we need to talk about, but I understand why this is difficult for her. I need to follow her lead, and, in this moment, I will gladly follow her anywhere.
“It’s getting late, I really should get going. Thank you for dinner.” Standing, she releases my hand and straightens her sweater before walking out of the room.
Rising from the couch, I trail behind her into the kitchen. I don’t want her to leave yet. I love talking to her – even the tough stuff.
“I would love to see you again.” I would make time to see her every single day if she would let me.
“I would like that too.” She hesitates when she reaches the centre of the room. Slowly, she spins to face me, rises on her toes, and loops her arms around my neck.
“This is such a bad idea,” she murmurs as she pulls me closer. Her eyes flick up to my mouth, and I barely have time to process what’s happening before she grabs my face and kisses me. It’s not soft or hesitant. It’s entirely hunger and heat.
For a split second, shock holds me in place. My mind and body catch up at the same time and I groan into her mouth. My cock becomes instantly hard and presses uncomfortably against the zipper of my jeans. My hands slip around her back, and my fingers dig in like I’m afraid she will pull away. She deepens the kiss, practically stealing the oxygen from my lungs, as her hands thread through my hair.
There is no coming back from this.
She tastes sweet like the sugar from our dessert and hope for the future. Her nails rake along my scalp towards the back ofmy neck. I can’t help but deepen the kiss further. It’s messy and desperate like we are making up for all the time we spent apart.
As quickly as it began, it’s over. Exhaling shakily, her hand falls to my chest before she steps back, putting some space between us. Her hazy green eyes meet mine and with one hand she touches her swollen lips.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” she says softly. “I really need to go.”
I watch her retreat towards the entry with the taste of her still on my lips. I follow her to the door with my pulse still hammering. After she slips on her boots and grabs her bag, she pauses for a moment with her fingers curled around the doorknob. I desperately want her to stay, but I will give her the space she needs. For now.
Looking back, she meets my eyes and says, “Don’t throw me away, Logan, I can’t hurt like that ever again.”
Turning, she pulls open the door and steps out into the cool evening air. She stands unmoving like she’s debating whether she wants to stay or go. Then, without another word, she jogs down the stairs, leaving nothing but silence behind her.
Chapter Thirty
I can’t believe I kissed him; what was I thinking? I don’t want to send him mixed messages, but he feels like coming home after a long vacation. Everything with him is comfortable.
Maybe a little too comfortable: “I hope you kept it wrapped up.” I’m so embarrassed. I can’t believe I said that. We just fell back into easy banter and friendship like no time had passed at all. But can I trust him with my heart again? Do I want to? I don’t know. Maybe.
Earlier in the week, I sent out an open invitation for the girls to come over and hang out today, and they have all just arrived. The forecast predicted sunshine, and it delivered. The water on the lake shimmers under the sun and the breeze feels warm on my skin. Everyone has found their way out to the deck for a few hours of rest and relaxation. It is also an excellent opportunity to talk this situation out with my girlfriends.
“I’m glad to see you.” I hug and release Meg. “I wasn’t sure if you would be able to make it, since Jeff is home this weekend.”
“He is, but he decided to go golfing with some work friends or clients. I don’t know, he didn’t really say.” Rolling her eyes, she hugs both Beck and Claire.
“Do you have any plans together for the rest of the weekend?”
“Who knows, I’m just a side character in his life,” she says with a heavy sigh.
“Oh honey, I’m sorry.”
I’d throat-punch Jeff if I thought it would help. Meg has always been beautiful but lately her fair skin looks washed out. The dark circles under her eyes say more than she ever does out loud.
“It’s fine. I’m fine.” She waves us all away as she sits down in a red Adirondack chair. “I do have some interesting village gossip, though. Someone popped into the bookstore this week and wanted to know if I had heard anything about a well-known romance author with a cottage in the area. She didn’t know any other details.”
“Interesting. I wonder who it is?” Beck asks as she hands out the drinks she picked up from Maggie’s on her way here. Lots of famous people cottage in the area, it could be anyone really.
“If we find out it would be fun to organize a book signing it our little town. It would be great for tourism.” As much as we welcome a break from the busy summer season, we all know visitors to the area help our community prosper.
“It’s probably just a rumor.” Claire shrugs. “I don’t believe anything anymore, unless I see or hear it first-hand.
