“He broke my heart, Mom,” I say with a long sigh.
“I know he did, sweetie, and I’m so sorry about that. I’m sorry I couldn’t be a better support to you then. If you want to talk about how you’re feeling now I would love to listen.”
I’m grateful she wants to support me, but I’m not sure I want to discuss Logan with my mom. Logan and I breaking up is so interwoven with Dad’s death and my mom’s mental health crashing I can’t separate it.
Trust me, I have tried.
Chapter Twenty
As I set up my workstation for the day, I find myself replaying my earlier conversation with Hannah at Maggie’s. I know I have a long road ahead if I want to earn back her trust. Years ago, when we fought, I always knew exactly what to do and say. But now, I’m completely lost. We have both changed so much.
Beck arrives to work about 30 minutes after me. She has her black hair pushed back in a colourful scarf and her lips are painted dark red.
On her way through the shop, she stops to pet and talk to Morgan and completely ignores me. She’s pissed. I continue to watch her as she pauses at the front desk to pick up her appointment list. She continues her way to her station and drops her purse without even sparing me a glance.
We work together so I know I need to extend an olive branch.
“Hey Beck. Can we talk for a minute before anyone else gets here?”
She raises her hand to stop me from saying anything further and glares at me.
Well, okay then.
“Hannah is one of my closest friends. There is absolutely nothing I wouldn’t do for her.”
I nod in acknowledgement. I know what it’s like to be one of her closest friends as well. It’s a gift.
I was friends with Claire and Megan growing up, but I know almost nothing about Beck. I called Riot last night to ask about her, but he was busy with his nephew Ben, so he didn’t have time to talk. I guess Claire was at book club too. They had one back in high school and I find myself happy that they kept it up.
“I’m sorry that I put you in an awkward situation yesterday. I had no idea you were friends with Hannah. I’m glad she has a good friend like you, I wish...”
I trail off as Beck doesn’t let me finish my sentence –again.
“You don’t get to talk right now. Just listen. I was here after you were gone. I watched her fall apart, put herself back together brick by brick and thrive. I love her more than anyone and I can guarantee she’s not the same young woman you broke up with. She had to pick up all the pieces alone because nobody was here to do it with her. She was not only grieving her dad, and the life she dreamed for herself, but she was also grieving the loss of a lifelong friendship, and the death of a relationship with someone she trusted and loved. I don’t need to know why you ended things, but she may want to. In her own time. Do not push her. Do not break her heart again Logan. If you can’t guarantee you won’t hurt her again then you need to stay the fuck away.”
I don’t know how everyone expects me to stay away now that I’m home. I’ve already stayed away long enough. It’s like we are magnets. Anytime we are in the same area I’m drawn to her. But I will do my best to respect her boundaries. For now, anyway.
“I promise I have zero intention of hurting her. I will cut off my own hand before I do that again.” Leaning back in my chair I say, “can I ask you a question?”
“You can but I may not answer,” she lifts a shoulder before motioning me to follow her out to the waiting area.
She settles into one of the black leather couches and Morgan jumps up beside her resting his head on her lap. Rolling my eyes at my needy dog I sit in the chair across from her.
“Fair. I’m just curious about when you moved here.”
I really want to know about her friendship with Hannah, but I don’t expect she will willingly volunteer it. I’m trying to be covert. Sue me.
“Why?” she asks with narrowed suspicious eyes.
“I don’t know. I’ve been away a long time and if we are working together, it would be nice to get to know you.” I shrug, trying to act casual.
“Alright. I can give you the cliff notes version. I moved here from a little town in Maine, in May, the same year you moved, after I had flunked out of school. My parents were less than thrilled since I wasted three years of their money on an education that I was never going to use. The tension was at an all-time high at home so when Aunt Maggie asked if I wanted to come for a visit, I enthusiastically said yes.”
She takes a drink of her coffee, followed by a big bite of her muffin. She chews for a moment and once she has swallowed, she continues.
“I had visited Emerley as a child but after my grandparents died, we came less often. Did you know that Maggie lives in my grandparent’s old house? It looks nothing like their orderly, stuffy estate now.” She doesn’t wait for a reply before she continues.
“I didn’t plan on staying, but here I am, ten years later.”
