“I think Banks has already added him to our website. There is probably a pic of him on there, let me check,” Beck says as she pulls her phone from her pocket and quickly brings up the site.
“Yep, here he is!” She passes the phone to Claire and Megan. They crowd together and look at the phone screen, then up to me, and back to the phone.
“Woah, this is not the boy I grew up with,” Claire states.
“Out of all of us, Logan was the cleanest cut. Almost nerdy. He definitely glowed up. And the tattoos are also very unexpected,” she says, fanning herself.
“Let me see.” I move closer and stretch out my hand to take the phone.
Logan James has grown into a man. It’s going to take me a minute to wrap my brain around that. Any time I thought of Logan over the past few years, I never aged him. He stayed forever 21 years old in my mind. This picture is definitely not 21-year-old Logan.
As I examine the details of the photo, I see him sitting, legs spread on the steps of the yellow house with his arm wrapped around Morgan. I love that he has a dog. He always wanted one. He’s wearing faded blue jeans, a black T and boots. His brown hair is perfectly messy, like he has just run his fingers through it, and he has the best smile. Yep, I can confirm he’s hot.
I hand Beck back her phone and plop myself on top of a large discarded blue pillow on the floor with a sigh.
“Are you going to talk to him?” Claire asks.
Though she was acutely aware of what was going on here after Logan left, she didn’t experience the first few months of my heart ache like Beck and Megan did.
“I don’t want to talk to him. Honestly, I’d like to avoid him as much as possible.” The thought of talking to him makes my head hurt and stomach ache.
“You were best friends forever, don’t you want to know why he disappeared from your life after he went back to school?” Megan asks with compassion as she continues to sip her tea.
“That’s what hurts the most, though. He was my best friend long before we were anything else. We had so much history together and he still ended it without warning. Besides, what could he possibly say now?Sorry I bailed on you ten years ago. It wasn’t you; it was me,” I say in a mocking deep voice.
“No thank you, the chance to talk passed a long time ago. He could have answered any of my phone calls or text messages.”
“It’s a small-town, Hannah. I’m not sure it will be that easy to avoid him.” Claire points out the obvious.
Beck is sitting quietly with her arms wrapped around her knees. Beck doesn’t do quiet well.
“Out with it. What are you thinking?” I say with a defeated sigh.
She takes a giant breath, pushing out her cheeks and dramatically lets it go with a huff.
“You’re not going to like it.” She pauses, gathering up some courage before saying, “I think you should talk to him.”
“Are you kidding me right now?” I jump up to pace the room again.
I’m really surprised. Beck saw how badly Logan disappearing from my life affected me all those years ago.
“Hear me out, Hannah. You have both grown up. A lot of things change in a decade. I will always support you and your choice, but don’t you think you could use some more closure from that period of your life? You will never know about the events surrounding your dad’s death.” She pauses to check my reaction.
I nod for her to continue.
“I’m not saying you should forgive Logan or jump back into any kind of relationship with him, but at least you will have some answers.”
“First,” I hold up one finger, “he had years to explain and chose not to. It’s not like I was able to go anywhere. I’m exactly where he left me.”
Holding up a second finger I say, “I don’t owe him anything.”
“That’s right, girl. You don’t owe him a single thing.” Claire rallies, extending her hand for a fist bump. Megan just shakes her head.
Raising a third finger, I look to the ceiling as if the answers lie there. “You’re right, I could benefit from some closure. Logan dropped off the face of the earth at the worst possible time, and I deserve to know why. I’m just not ready to hear it. His unexpected return to Emerley has thrown me off balance, and I need time to process it before deciding my next steps.”
“You know that we have your back, right? We will support your decisions,” Megan asks, reaching over to gently squeeze my clenched hand.
“I have your back, but don’t think I’m not going to give him a hard time when I see him,” Beck mutters.
