“I can’t go back. I want to but I can’t. Without Dad here to look after her, I would just worry all the time. Even if I hired someone to care for her full time, I can’t be that far away.” She wipes her mouth with a paper napkin, tosses it on her empty plate, and leans back against the couch, closing her eyes.
“What do you want to do?”
Hannah and I were both excited to attend university away from home. We applied to multiple schools in the province with the agreement that we would choose one together. Hannah was accepted into her first-choice psychology program. There were over 250 applicants, and she was one of the twenty-five they accepted. I followed her there. I didn’t care where I went, I just knew I wanted to be with her.
Hannah and I left Emerley as best friends, and our relationship evolved into more. I think it was inevitable that we would end up together. Our relationship changed as we got older; I’m just surprised it took us as long as it did to figure it out.
Leaving Emerley was the change we both needed. Hannah needed the chance to live like a normal teenager without the responsibility of being a caregiver. I just wanted to be anywhere else.
My parents had recently separated, and even after years of tension, it was tough on our family to adjust to a new type of normal.
Jackson didn’t cope well with the change. He was never a fabulous student, but his grades got worse, and he startedgetting into more trouble. He constantly had angry outbursts and was generally miserable to be around.
As a result, I feel like my dad places a lot of pressure on me. I’m expected to do better and be better at everything. He pushed me towards getting a degree in economics. I’m not sure if he has ever asked me what I want to do.
“Maybe I can switch to online classes for the rest of the semester. Or maybe I’ll just defer my course load to September. Hopefully by then things will settle down. Maybe Francis will be able to help us more than she already does or maybe even move in – I don’t know. But I will still have to come home more often.” She takes a giant breath and puffs out her cheeks before releasing the air with a huff.
We currently only come home for weekend visits every couple of months to see friends and family, so that makes sense that we will need to start coming back more often.
“I can stay and help,” I suggest, shrugging. It’s a reasonable offer. I would do anything to help her.
“No, you need to go and finish out the semester. Your internship starts this fall, and I don’t want you to fall behind.” She shakes her head adamantly.
“It’s only for a couple months and you can just stay at my apartment; there is no reason to return to the dorm. Then you will be home for the summer.”
“You’re going to need more of your things.” We’ve been cycling through the few belongings we brought with us, borrowing from friends, and making do with what we left behind when we moved.
“Can you pack up some clothes and bring them to me when you visit?”
“That’s no problem. Just give me a list with what you need.”
Pushing our forgotten picnic aside, I lay down, pulling Hannah down with me.
“I can’t imagine returning to school without you.”
“I’ll miss you,” she says as she rests her head on my chest.
“I’ll miss you too. You better not watch Criminal Minds without me,” I say, playfully tickling her side.
She smiles into my shirt and shakes her head. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“We will talk every single day,” I promise as I run my fingers through her hair.
“We can text and Snapchat. We can’t lose our streak.” She sits up and gasps dramatically.
“Oh no, not the streak. Never that!”
Hannah starts to giggle as she slowly moves her hand under my white T-shirt. Her soft fingers gliding up and down my abs. It’s nice to see her smile and hear her laugh again.
“I know another way we can communicate.” Her hand continues to explore up my chest then back down low on my stomach.
“Oh yeah?” My interest is peaked as I sit up beside her. “What are you thinking?”
I bring my hand to the back of her head, tilting it so I can peer into her mischievous green eyes.
“Well, we could exchange pictures,” she boldly suggests, biting her bottom lip.
Oh, I like this game.
