“Take my word for it, you wouldn’t want to be married to them,” Mina pipes up. “Fictional villains may leave your enemies eviscerated and your knees weak, but they’re more trouble than they’re worth.”
The women laugh. I force a smile, knowing that it’s a private joke. Perhaps they’re poking fun at Mina’s husband being named afterWuthering Heights’s swoony gothic villain.
Personally, I’m more of a Dracula-stan. Maybe I’ve duelled with London property prices too long, but I love a man who owns his own castle.
“Next week’s book is something more lighthearted, although just as spicy. And there’s lots of juicy murder.” Isis tosses me a paperback calledLords of Painby Angel Lawson and Samantha Rue. “Let me introduce you to everyone.”
Isis sweeps her arm around the room, indicating each member of the club. “You’ve already met Mina and her dog Oscar. He’s the only man allowed in our club.”
“Croak!” the raven protests from its perch above the chamber door.
Isis rolls her eyes. “Apart from Quoth, of course. Although a little word to the wise, whatever you do, don’t quote any Poe around him. He doesn’t like it.”
I peer at the raven with renewed interest. “What does he do if you quote Poe?”
“Trust me. You don’t want to know.” Isis makes a face and everyone laughs again. Even the raven makes hisnyuh-nyuh-nyuhsound. “Next to Mina is Maisie Collins. She’s a reporter for the Argleton Gazette and the best Aunt Sally player in the county. Then there’s my sister, Pandora?—”
“—Just Dora,” Isis’s sister mumbles, pulling her blanket tighter around herself. I see the family resemblance. Both Meriwether sisters have a wild tumble of red hair and heart-shaped faces with huge, pale blue eyes. But while Isis bounces around the room with her loud clothing and even louder voice, Dora looks as thoughshe longs to fade into the woodwork, swimming in a scratchy-looking jumper that’s as cosy as it is unfashionable.
She’s also the only woman in the room apart from Mina wearing a wedding ring.
“Fine, just Dora. Just Dora works with me at Spell The Tea – the best magical shop in all of England. And she hates every minute of it, but with Mum gone, I need the help. Next to my gloomy sis is Celeste Lucas. She’s the village baker, owner of Glazed and Confused at the top of Butcher Street, and provider of most of our fabulous spread. But be careful around her – she’s like a drug pusher for sugary goodness.”
“Lovely to meet you, Winnie. Youmusttry the peanut butter cookies. And the honeycomb and white chocolate doughnuts.” As Celeste shoves a platter under my nose, the fairy lights highlight bright red streaks in her short, textured brown bob.
I take a doughnut with a grateful smile, but leave the cookies alone. Peanut butter still turns my stomach.
“And last but not least is Beth Duncan, the village beautician and yoga instructor.” Mina gestures at the standing lamp next to the fresh-faced blonde who is setting down a platter of muffins.
“And soon-to-be pole dance instructor.” Beth sweeps her strawberry blonde hair off her shoulder and glares at all the ladies in the room. “And once I’m certified, you ladies better sign up for my first class or half-price facials at Zen and Tonic will be going the way of the dinosaurs.”
“I’m allergic to exercise,” Dora mumbles.
“Count me in!” Komal reaches for a muffin. “I want to learn how to twist myself into a human pretzel for fun. Plus, it might be good for tourism. You should do a demonstration at the Midsummer Festival.”
“I think Mina gets enough time swinging around poles already, what with her three husbands,” Isis teases.
Did I just hear that right? Three husbands? Is this another one of those inside jokes?
“Ew.Beth.” Komal scrunches up her face. “What’s in this muffin,apart from sadness?”
“They’re made with sprouted mung beans, ashwagandha, reishi, lion’s mane, and I mixed in a Quinton shot for foundational vitamins and gut health.”
“It tastes like a hate crime.”
Beth bounces to her feet and embraces me warmly. “I’m so happy you felt called to join our coven, Winnie. If you don’t mind me saying, you look a little puffy around the eyes and you’re holding a lot of tension in your body. You should stop in at my clinic next time you’re in the village – I have just the supplement regime to help. All natural, of course, and the first treatment is free for new book club members?—”
The banter in this group is fierce. I can feel my overwhelm start to show on my face.
“Omigod, Beth, let the girl sit down before you start selling her on your magical mushrooms,” Isis laughs.
“Although, seriously, Beth is the best.” Celeste touches her cheek. “I go hiking a lot, and because of the harsh weather, my skin was starting to resemble a cartographical map. Two treatments of Beth’s new skin serum and my cheeks look like a baby’s bottom again.”
I laugh nervously, desperate to relax into this warm group of friends. “I’ll consider it, but I’m only in the village for six weeks. My client needs me to finish the job before his family visits. I’m a professional organiser,” I explain. “Usually, I work in London with high-end clients and lifestyle influencers, but sometimes I travel wherever the mess takes me.”
“Nevermore Bookshop must give you hives.” Dora frowns at the piles of books, teacups, and raven feathers on the floor.
“I resent that.” Mina places a device over the edge of an empty wine glass and pours the wine. The device beeps when the liquid is a centimetre from the top, and Mina stops pouring. “This place is organised chaos. You should have seen it before I moved in. It was chaos chaos. Wine, Winnie?”
