Organise:Step two is to sort your possessions, throw out or give away the things that no longer serve you, and arrange what’s left into aneasy-to-use system.
Vampy:In this step, we celebrate how far you’ve come along your journey to clutter-free living! We do something fun together, whether it’s making some blood cocktails, going shopping for a new coffin lining, or buying that Alaric Valerian painting you’ve been eyeing off (link to his shophere ). The goal is to empower you to keep going even when things are difficult.
Evocation:This step is about speaking and preserving your memories so you no longer have to store them in objects. We’ll show you different techniques to safeguard your legacy.
Support:This is the most critical step of all. For you to sustain your new clutter-free life, you need a support system of family, friends and professionals who will keep you accountable and lift you up when you have setbacks. You’ll also be able to join our online support group for vampire hoarders, and even attend night-time clutter seminars.
Here at Dracluttera, we want every Upyr to succeed and thrive! Contact Winnie today for a no-obligation quote. And yes, we do accept payment in ancient gold coins and/or particularly beautiful jewellery.
CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN
WINNIE
Komal: I don’t care how tired you are from moving or how much you want to shag your hot vampire boyfriend after he wakes up from his daynap, we’d better see you at book club tonight! (And this probably goes without saying, but DO NOT EAT Beth’s carrot cake. It contains things that no carrot cake should ever contain.)
“Do you really like it?”
“I told you I like it. What will it take to make you believe me, human?” Alaric growls. “Perhaps if I tie you to it and lick you all over your body until you beg for mercy? Then would you believe that I like it?”
“Maybe.” I grin. “Or maybe you’d have to bite me, to really convince me.”
Alaric sits across from me in front of the blazing fire, his dark gaze drawn upwards by the large display case I’ve installed along one wall of the sitting room. It houses a selection of his swords and weapons.
I understand now why he was holding on to them. Each one of them is a part of his story. They bear the scars of thebattles he’s fought. Even though the scars on his soul will never heal, they are part of his story. Part of what makes him the vampire I fell in love with.
Things that break can be repaired, and become all the more beautiful for the cracks. Even hearts. Even souls.
Not every chapter of our stories is smutty or nice or bloodless, but who are we without the history we carry around with us?
Alaric lifts his goblet to his mouth, taking a deep sip. His eyes drop to my face, heavy with pleasure, flecked with golden firelight. “What did you do with the rest of the swords?” he asks.
“They’re in trunks down in the dungeon. I thought maybe you could make them into a sculpture or add another wing to the Stabby Chic hall. Ooh, better yet, we could use them to decorate the walls of my office! That way, when new clients walk in, they’ll know that they’d better listen to me … or else.”
“But if you’re ever called to go through with your threat, your unruly client would quickly discover that you have two left feet and can barely swing a blade.”
“I’m sure that with an eternity to practise, I’ll be able to stab something. Maybe not my target, butsomething. It would help if my swordmaster could get through a lesson without grinding his giant vampire cock into me and fucking me against his loom.”
Alaric raises a dark slash of eyebrow. “Is that a complaint … or a request?”
I snuggle deeper into my chair. Alaric has just arisen from his nap, but I’ve been busy all day, moving my things back into the castle and arranging my new office desk in the bay window of the library. If I’m going to see Dracluttera clients in Argleton as well as London, then I need a place to work, and I couldn’t ask for more than the scenic view down the valley from my very ownBeauty and the Beastlibrary.
And speaking of my beast …
Alaric may be sipping his blood like he has no other care in the world, but I can tell from the way his eyebrow twitches that he’s excited to get to his creative wing of the castle and work on his new project. He’s putting together an art exhibition with Quoth –after the success of Alaric’s moonscapes, they think they might be able to get a London gallery interested. And Komal has asked him if she can install his model of Argleton in the tourist office, so he wants to give it a fresh coat of paint.
It’s amazing how tidy Black Crag is now that Alaric has outlets for his passions. He gets such a thrill from seeing people enjoy his work, and then he takes that thrill out on my body. We all win.
Especially me.
Eternity is a long time for regrets.
We decided to keep the house in London. I’ll go down there every few weeks to see clients and Alaric and I will stay in the city and practise being in the world. He’s yet to experience the joy of late-night gallery openings, fast food, escape rooms and terrible musical productions, but I intend to show himeverything.
And as for my Kiss, we haven’t set a date yet, but we’re talking about it, getting used to the idea. I’m not ready yet, but I think I will be soon.
“Gideon has been talking you up to everyone on the Sanctus Estate. My mother and Perdita have been spreading the word at their respective courts. I think you’ll have no end of clients willing to pay top dollar for Dracluttera services. That is, if you don’t mind avoiding garlic before client meetings?” Alaric raises an eyebrow.
I tilt my G&T towards him. “I don’t know. Idolove garlic, especially in Reginald’s cooking. But not as much as I love you.”
