“I can’t leave us like this. Winnie, about that room?—”
She shakes her head. “I’ve had my fill of secrets tonight. I’m going with them. I need to see if Isis is okay.”
“Winnie, please, stay with me. We can talk about this.”
“I’ve already talked.” Her voice rises. “I told you about my mother, about why I am the way I am. You’ve seen my nightmares about the bugs and the piles of things falling on me. I actuallybelievedI was safe with you. That I could make a home here. But youtook a part of that home and turned it into anightmare. A nightmare that you expect me to clean up. Just once, I wish I could trust someone in my life. I wish I was worth making a change for?—”
“You are wortheverything,” I growl. I’m desperate, my pulse pounding in my ears. Her strawberry perfume reeks of fear and anger. “I would give anything to make things right, Winnie. I’m not the same as your mother. I was making you a gift to show you how I feel?—”
“But that’s not what I need!” she cries. “Itoldyou what I need. You made an oath, remember? You keep this place tidy and you tell me the truth. And one night later those promises are both ashes and dust.”
“I didn’t tell you about the Kiss because I will never do that to you.” I reach for her, craving her warmth, certain that in my arms she’ll remember that I’m hers. “And I was right to refuse it, since you do not wish to become a monster.”
“No.” Her eyes flash. “I don’t.”
And there it is – the wound that she had stitched closed in me bursting open.
Monsters don’t hurt as humans do.
We hurt worse, because our skin is tougher, our hearts harder, so the knife that cuts deep must be drenched in poison.
Who can love a monster?
“You have made your decision, then.”
“I have.” Winnie tugs the hood of my cloak over her head, her eyes flashing.
“But I love you.”
The words crack on my tongue, a sentiment I never imagined possible for me. They’re supposed to be the most powerful words in the world, but the moment they fall from my lips, they collapse into dust.
Winnie shakes her head. “I’m sorry, Alaric. I know I’m hurting you. That’s the problem. The person you love should make you the best version of yourself, but we make each otherworse. And I can’t spend the rest of my life cleaning up your mess.”
“Then you should leave. Forever. Youaren’t wanted here.”
My rib cage is tearing open. I love her, but she cannot survive me. I love her too much to make her like me. So I will make sure she is safe from me, no matter the cost.
“Alaric—” She steps back, her eyes flooding with tears.
“You. Aren’t. Wanted.” I punctuate each word with a flash of fang. “You breezed into my castle with your loud music and your ideals and yoursystem, and you took everything I am and organised it into neat little boxes to make me into someone who was palatable to you. But it was all pretend. You’re afraid of me because I see you, I see everything you’ve tried to hide from the world. But you never saw me. You only saw a project – someone you could fix the way you could never fix your mother.”
“You’re being cruel.”
“You are shocked? I am showing you who I truly am, Winifred. You were right – there is no Winnie Wins system to fix what is broken between us. You can’t spend your short human life cleaning up messes and hiding away from the world.”
She gasps as tears spring from her eyes and begin to trickle down her cheeks. She whirls on her heel and sprints outside, desperate to get away from me.
I can smell the salt of her tears.
She doesn’t look back.
CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
WINNIE
Dora: We’ve taken Isis to her flat. We’ll see you all there once vampire justice has been done.
We crowd into Komal’s giant Argleton HeliTours minivan and she careens back in the direction of the village, dodging around the vampires crowding the road as they start to head back to their homes before the sun comes up.
