“Is this …” I raise an eyebrow. “… ‘Rain’ by Sleep Token? This is on my Get Shit Done playlist. Youhatethis song.”
“You have opened my eyes to new wonders, Winnie Preston,” he says as his fingers find the hollow of my back. He presses me against him, our hearts thudding against each other – two beats of mineto every one of his.
Alaric’s cool fingers knit in mine as he holds my hand up and spins us slowly, his feet moving between mine with easy grace. For a moment, I forget the anger in my heart.
He can dance.
Of course he can dance. He’s had several lifetimes to learn.
Alaric’s cheek grazes mine. His skin is as cool as stone, which is what I need my heart to be right now. A stone, impervious to his tricks.
“We have many laws about humans,” he whispers. “Some are to protect you from us. Others are to protect us from you. Most of us old enough have been persecuted at one time or another. But this law is for everyone.
“A vampire and a human cannot make vows to each other until they are both Upyr. As much as a couple may love each other, eventually immortality will come between them. The human will beg to live forever, or the vampire will resent their love aging while they remain unchanged. Eventually, time will rob the couple of their happiness, and the vampire will bury his beloved and must continue, enduring, long after his love becomes dust. To know love and to lose it is a fate worse than death, which is why relationships like ours are forbidden even if we stayed out of each other’s beds.”
His words sink in. I can’t believe I never considered what it means to be with a vampire. Alaric won’t age. He’ll still look this fucking devastating in a hundred years. And in a hundred years, I’ll be dead. What we have now feels so real and unbreakable, but time itself would tear us apart.
How could I be so stupid?
My dress tightens like an iron maiden closing around me.
“When were you going to tell me this?” I choke out.
“I didn’t think to tell you because I have no intention of ever granting you the Kiss. I made a vow that I would never sire a vampire. My mother calls this life a gift, but I never believed that … that is, until I met you.” His cheek shifts against mine, sparking fire in my skin. “If I died on that battlefield, I never would have met you. Eternity was worth the wait for you, Winnie Preston.”
My eyes burn with unwept tears. Damn him and his pretty words. “But you must have a system, right? For choosing who gets to be a new vampire? Surely you have to grow the population at some point?”
“Normally, a vampire couple will apply to the Conclave for a licence to sire offspring, and that couple will choose an appropriate human to continue their bloodline. There have been occasions when an Upyr has fallen for a human and successfully petitioned the Conclave for the right to sire them. But it is not common, especially not among the courtly classes, for they don’t like to introduce new blood. I do not care what Perdita or anyone in this room says, you have nothing to fear from me?—”
Don’t you understand?I want to scream at him.I haveeverythingto fear from you.
“I said I would stay on three conditions,” I murmur. “One of those conditions was that you told meeverything.”
“And I will tell you everything. I will give you every book about vampire lore in the library. We have an eternity together for you to unpack the mysteries of my kind.”
No, we don’t. That’s the whole point.
I need my life to have rules and order. I need to be able to control things. But your world … I don’t understand it. I can’t control it.
What if I wanted this? What if I chose you over mortality? Why didn’t you give me a choice?
What if I agreed and then we broke up? What if I asked you to do this, but you refused, and I resented you? What if?—
“—Patrick’s body … pity about … absolutely delicious …”
My ears prick up. I nudge Alaric’s arm, steering him closer to the voice that laughed Patrick’s name.
“Winnie, please.” Alaric’s voice cracks with pain. “You know how I feel about you. I would never?—”
“Sssshh, I heard?—”
“Sorry to break up the party.” Komal tugs on my arm, startling me out of Alaric’s embrace and the conversation I’d overheard. “We have a problem. I can’t find Isis.”
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
ALARIC
Winnie’s fingers dig into my arm. “Alaric.”
