“But you were a minor—”Oh shit.
I covered my mouth with my hand. Tears filled my eyes.My sweet Rowan. To think he had to endure that.
Rowan rested his cheek against mine. The warmth of his skin stark against the cold night, the coldness in his words. “Maeve, I won’t ever be able to stop using condoms with you. I won’t put you or the guys in danger like that. I’m HIV positive.”
CHAPTER THIRTY
MAEVE
Istared at Rowan as his words sunk in.
The needle sharing. The stuff he’d done on this very street corner with men who paid money to fulfil their taboo desires. He’d been through all of that, and now he’d carry the scars of it for the rest of his life.
Tears filled my eyes.Just how much of a life does he even have left?
“Bloody hell, mate, give her the full story,” Corbin wiped a dreadlock out of Rowan’s face. “Maeve, Rowan was diagnosed two years ago when I first brought him to Briarwood. He’s been taking the medication religiously and for the last year, he’s had an undetectable viral load. That means there’s no risk of him passing on HIV even if he had unprotected sex.”
Rowan shook his head. “I won’t. I can’t.”
Corbin rubbed Rowan’s shoulder. “It’s okay, mate. We understand. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Right, Maeve?”
“But what does this mean?” I couldn’t hold the tears back. They streamed down my face. “Will we…?”
I couldn’t even say the words. The thought of it crackled through my body like lightning, nearly knocking me off my feet.
Will we lose you? Will I have to stand over your grave and say goodbye to you, too?
“Not for a very long time,” Corbin said firmly. “We discovered it early and the medication is working. That’s the important thing.”
Rowan’s tears mingled with my own, pooling inside the collar of Blake’s jacket. The three of us swayed together, holding each other upright as we carried Rowan’s burden between us. Water lapped against the edge of the canal. Rowan’s shoulders shook with silent sobs.
“I love you,” I whispered to Rowan. “I’m here for you, always.”
Fresh tears pooled in his eyes. “No one’s ever?—”
“I know, and that’s the greatest tragedy, because you’re amazing and everyone in the whole world should love you. But you’ve got me.”
“And Corbin?” Rowan lifted his eyes to mine.
“Corbin got to hear those words first.” I didn’t want to think about Flynn right now.
“No, I mean?—”
Corbin bent his head toward Rowan. A moment later, their lips pressed against each other.
The kiss started chaste, hesitant, lips brushing each other as though they both wanted the option to pull back and pretend it never happened. Then it heated up. Their lips opened. Their tongues entwined. Their eyes blazed into each other as they fell into each other for the first time, filling each other up with their need.
My breath caught in my throat. I wanted to turn away, to give them this private moment. And yet, it felt like it was for all of us. My body sizzled as though both their lips were on mine.
Corbin drew away, breathing hard. Rowan’s eyes widened, the whites glowing under the dim moonlight.
It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
Corbin cupped Rowan’s cheek in his hand, pulling his head closer. Rowan’s locs fell over his shoulder.
“Does that answer your question?” Corbin growled.
Rowan’s lips moved, but he couldn’t speak. I pressed my body against them both, resting my forehead against Rowan. His body trembled again, but judging by the hardness pressing against my thigh, I didn’t think it was with fear.
