The six of us collapsed on the bed in a tangle of limbs. I rested my head on Blake’s chest. Corbin’s head fell beside me. Rowan curled up against me, his dark skin contrasted against mine. His locs fell over his face, like a curtain hiding him from the world. On my other side, Arthur trailed lines across my chest with his huge fingers. Flynn curled at my feet like a puppy, tickling my toes.
My whole body ached from the workout it had just endured, but my mind and heart thrummed with energy. When it had just been the five of us, I’d felt completely whole and fulfilled, but with Arthur here as well – it was more than I could have even imagined.
I realised that I was only just waking up to my power. All the things I’d done so far…they were kiddie stuff. I could easily believe the force that hummed through me now could topple mountains and build wormholes to other galaxies.
I wonder what it would be like if we…
I shifted my weight so that I sat up against the pillows and cast a gaze over the six content faces. “Hey, I had this idea…”
“You’re going to go downstairs and fry us all some bacon?” Flynn asked, his voice hopeful.
I slapped him lightly across the shoulder. “No. I was thinking that we haven’t discussedityet, what with the whole fate-of-the-world-in-our-hands thing, but I think it’s time we all get an STI check.”
Beside me, Rowan stiffened. Arthur’s eyes widened.
“You mean…” Flynn’s gleeful face showed exactly what he thought of my offer.
“Yeah. Condoms are a bit of a hassle, and we’re going to need an awful lot of them. As long as you all check out and you’re all happy with it, I don’t see any problem. I’ll probably have to do some research on the anal sex part because…” my face flushed. “They don’t cover that in Arizona school sex education. Honestly, they don’t cover much in Arizona sex education. There’s probably a clinic here in London we can go to in between all the sightseeing and painting investigation.”
The idea sent a delicious shudder through my body. Being skin on skin with all of them, completely naked, body and hearts bound together. It sounded amazing.
Arthur squeezed his body against mine, his beard tickling my arm. “I’d like that.”
“And me.” Corbin bent down to kiss my lips.
“The prospect doesn’t fill me with dread,” Blake added. “What’s an STI?”
Rowan slid out from under my arm. “I think I’ll just…”
He floated away before he finished his sentence, grabbing his clothes and clambering down the ladder. I watched his shaking body descend the rungs and disappear from view. A moment later, one of the downstairs doors clicked shut.
Corbin glanced at me, his eyes begging me not to go after Rowan, to let him run. I stared at the empty spot on the bed where Rowan had just been. He always took things so seriously. Was this too much of a step for him? Did it make his anxiety play up?
Or was it something else, something he wasn’t telling me?
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
ROWAN
Ishouldn’t have come back here.
I slammed the front door of the building and hurried away down the street, conscious that in my haste to leave, I’d somehow put on Blake’s jeans instead of mine and they hung around my hips.
My legs begged to run, to put as much distance between myself and Maeve and her suggestion as I could. But no matter how far or fast I ran, I’d never escape this city. Once London held you in her clutches, you were hers forever.
Corbin justhadto get a flat in Camden.He knew that Haringey was just a few blocks away. All I’d have to do was go through Highgate Wood and I’d be back where the nightmare that was my life began.
That’s not fair.
I couldn’t blame Corbin for any of this. He probably didn’t even remember, not with everything else he was trying to deal with.This is all you.
You’re the disgusting one. Maeve will find out. They’ll all find out. They’ll kick you out and you’ll have no choice but to come back here.
I’d been an idiot for believing I could just fake my way through this trip. On the train, I tried to pretend I was as excited about London as the others. I even made a show of looking up a high tea I wanted to take everyone to, as if they’d even let someone like me into a fancy hotel.
What they didn’t see was me going to the bathroom twenty-six times. I scrubbed and scrubbed my hands, but the fear that they weren’t clean – that I wasn’t clean, that I’d poison everyone around me – never went away.
At Briarwood, I had my routines. If the voice did this to me I could just go to the Great Hall and count the window panes. I could knead the bread – a-hundred-and-fifty-four quarter turns gave the most delicious loaf. I could wash my hands in the kitchen sink a hundred times a day without anyone monitoring me, and no one had to know just how close I was to losing my shit on a daily basis.
