Girlfriend.
The word pounded inside my head. No guy had ever said the G word to me before, not even Andrew in the astronomy club. To be wanted like that by Arthur…itwasspecial.
I smiled sadly. “I want that to. I wish I could say yes. You have no idea how much I wish that. But I’m all messed up right now, Arthur. You know that – you were messed up like this, once. I’m full of pain and grief and magic I don’t even understand. And as important as you are to me, I have feelings for Corbin and Rowan and Flynn and Blake too, and I can’t even articulate what they mean yet. It’s clear from this jealousy you’re feeling that you can’t have a girlfriend who isn’t completely loyal to you, and I can’t be the girlfriend you deserve right now.”
Arthur’s chest heaved. “I know.” His voice was broken glass.
“This isn’t about you, it’s about me. I can’t be anyone else’s girlfriend, either – not that anyone else has asked, by the way. I’m not surprised you’re the first. I love that about you.” I touched his cheek again. This time, he rested his head against my hand. “Yourpassion.”
“That’s not how people describe me,” he snapped.
“Oh yeah?” I grinned. “How do they describe you? I told my sister you were the hot sword-fighting Viking who was the first guy to ever kiss me and make me feel something.”
Arthur grunted, the guttural sound reaching right through my body, tugging at the ache between my legs. I pressed myself against him, running my fingers over his lips.
“Whatever I do with the others doesn’t impact how I feel about you. We’re all being safe. We’re all consenting adults trying to deal with ancient sex magic and our individual pain. No one has to get hurt if we don’t let that happen.”
He remained stock-still, but he didn’t deny me.
Maybe I can convince him, after all.
I had to stand on tiptoes to reach him. I brushed my lips against his. The ache between my legs surged into an agonizing rhythm. Arthur’s lips pressed back. He opened his mouth, devouring me. His hands reached up, rough fingers touching my cheeks, cupping the back of my neck, pulling me against him.
Yes, yes, yes…give me more, Aragorn. Give me?—
He wrenched himself away, staggering backwards, his eyes narrowed.
“Arthur…”
“I can’t do it,” he growled. Backing up toward the door, he shot me a look that burned with desire…and something that might have been agony. “Don’t touch me like that again.”
Before I could protest, Arthur spun on his heel and stomped down the stairs, slamming the door shut behind him so hard it clattered on its frame.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
ARTHUR
Islammed the door to my bedroom and leaned against it, breathing hard. Heat surged against my palms – the fire within desperate to be unleashed.
Leaving Maeve upstairs, her heavy-lidded eyes begging me to bend her over the bed and take her… took every ounce of self-control I still possessed. I’d been stiff all day watching that tiny dress clinging to all her curves. And there she was, her lips against mine, telling me I was special, that she had feelings for me?—
But what she was asking…for me to share her with my best friends like she was a chattel, like she wasn’t amazing and special. I couldn’t disrespect her like that. No fucking way.
With shaking hands, I hung my sword on the hook above my bed, always within arm’s reach in case I needed it. It reminded me not to give in to temptation. Beneath it were two medieval prints Corbin had gifted me for my birthday last year. They were written in Latin, which I couldn’t read, but Corbin told me they represented the chivalric code of the Late Middle Ages.
“When I think of you, Arthur, I always think about their medieval knights – fierce warriors who upheld the honour andnobility of their kingdoms, and always opened doors for ladies,” he’d said with a grin.
That was me, Arthur the knight – who desperately wanted to do something very unchivalrous with the princess in the tower.
But I wasn’t going to sleep with Maeve until she was my girlfriend. Maybe the others could handle all this modern polyamorous female empowerment stuff, but I only wanted Maeve to empower herself with me. Maybe that made me old-fashioned, or a controlling dick, but that was how I had to do this. It was for everyone’s sake.
Eventually, maybe, Maeve would see it that way, too.
I sat down on the mattress, my body wrecked with tiredness, but my eyes wide open, my cock rubbing against my jeans.
Like hell I was going to sleep tonight without a cold shower…or…or something else.
I stared at the sword on the wall, my veins buzzing.No, a cold shower it is.
