“Oh, Mina,” Socrates called from the other room. “This customer wants to know if The Hunger Games is a good diet book?”
“I’m terribly sorry.” I gave Mr. My-Ex-Wife-Is-Casually-Buried-In-the-Garden an apologetic shrug. “I have to help someone else. But Heathcliff here will answer all your questions.”
As I made my exit, I heard the familiar scamper of boots as the creepy guy ran for his life from the bookshop, all the other occultists hot on his heels. A moment later, Heathcliff appeared at the doorway, the broom gripped tight in his hands. “This place is even nuttier than usual.”
“Agreed. It’s something in the air.”
“It’s this bloody Halloween festival,” Heathcliff sulked. “It’s turned people crazy. Someone asked me if we had a movie version of the bible with Mel Gibson’s face on the cover.”
“Speaking of the Halloween festival…” I tapped my phone to read out the time. “We should get going. It’s almost time for the bonfire.”
“Who holds a bonfire in the middle of the day?”
“People who adhere strictly to the conditions of their council fire permit.” I flipped the sign over the door and held Oscar’s harness for him to step into. I called out to the others, and from every corner of the shop came hoots and hollers and thumping footsteps as Morrie, Robin, Victor, Puck, the Headless Horseman (sans horse, thankfully) and Grimalkin joined the three of us.
Jo waved to us from my bedroom window. She’d decided to skip the bonfire lighting to watch Fiona. “Have fun. Take lots of pictures for me.”
“Will do.”
When we arrived at the top of Butcher Street, I realized my promise to Jo might be foiled. I’d never seen so many people crowded around the village green. It seemed as though everyone in Argleton had shown up in their costumes to witness the lighting. I didn’t have a hope of seeing over their heads, but the wicker man loomed high above the crowd so I knew we’d still get a great show from the back. I nudged Morrie to get in line for cider, and started hunting out a good snack option from one of the many food carts parked nearby.
Only, someone wasn’t having it. “Yooo hooo, Mina.” A hand waved from deeper in the crowd. I cringed. I’d recognize that voice anywhere.
“Coming, Mother.” I gripped Heathcliff’s elbow as we pushed through the crowd. Mum was standing on a chair at the front of the crowd, wearing a Camilla Parker Bowles costume, right on the police tape line that only fire officials were allowed to cross. She had a prime view, but I knew she wasn’t there to watch a ritual bonfire. In front of her was a table covered with a small stack of painted wooden boxes. The sign read, NEW: PREMIUM VAMPIRE VANISHING KITS. TAKING ORDERS NOW FOR CHRISTMAS DELIVERY.
I picked up one of the boxes. Instead of a painted shoebox, it was a cute wooden box with brass hinges, lock and key. The edges were beautifully finished. Inside were cushioned dividers for the stakes, holy water, and garlic, and a hand-lettered booklet tucked into the lid offered advice on sigils and spells to ward off vampires and evil spirits. “These are beautiful, Mum. I love the upgrade.”
Mum pressed the kit into my hands. “That one’s for you, Mina. I made it red and sparkly especially for you. I want you to be safe out there. These others aren’t for sale – they’re our sample kits.”
“What do you mean,our?”A familiar sense of suspicion gnawed at my stomach as I slotted the Vampire Vanishing Kit into my purse. “How did you make more kits so quickly? You’d completely sold out the other day.”
“Andy helped me.” Mum batted her eyelashes. “He’s sohandy.”
Andy? I turned around to see Handy Andy standing awkwardly behind Mum in a matching Prince Charles costume. He blushed when he saw me. “Hi, Mina.”
“Andy? H-h-hello.”Why are you wearing a couples’ Halloween costume with my mother?“This is a coincidence. I’ve been trying to reach you, but you haven’t been answering your phone. I need you to fix a few things around the shop. The electricity has gone out, and I think a pipe has burst somewhere because the basement is flooding. And you still haven’t bricked up that secret passage for me.”
“I’m sorry, Mina.” Andy looked to my mother for help, but she was busy demonstrating the Vampire Vanishing Kits to a girl dressed as Wednesday Addams. “I was meaning to pop in and see you in person, but Helen roped me into building boxes and I…”
Helen? They’re on first-name basis?
Is my mumdatingHandy Andy?
I didn’t know how I felt about that, especially with the letters from my father burning a hole in my psyche. “That’s okay. Just…it’s kind of urgent. It’s hard to run a bookshop without lights or a computer or a credit card machine, and the Spirit Seekers Society will need it to perform their paranormal investigation tomorrow night.”
“Without light, no one will know to heed the KEEP OUT OR WRETCHED CIRCUMSTANCES WILL BEFALL YOU signs I put up all over the flat,“ Heathcliff added.
“Oh, don’t worry about us, dear,” Mum piped in. “In fact, it’ll probably be better if the power stays off. Shoddy wiring disrupts our sensitive equipment. Now, please dear, stop bothering Andy while he’s working.”
Andy fitted a hardhat over his Charles mask and stepped over the police tape. I’d forgotten he was a volunteer firefighter.I think Mum may have actually scored a winner here, especially if I can get him to fix the shop…
The crowd hushed as the firefighters spread out around the bonfire, hoses at the ready in case things got out of control. Mrs. Ellis stepped out in front of the assembled villagers. Her witch’s nose had come unstuck a little at the edge, but she didn’t seem to notice. She raised her hands. “Thank you all for being here today. On behalf of the Spirit Seekers Society, we’re so grateful you’re enjoying the festival. We’ve got more treats in store for you for the rest of the week, including the much-anticipated Art Walk. Who knows? Maybe there will be a few tricks, as well—”
Behind her, Earl’s band struck up a jaunty tune. Robin stepped out of the crowd, dressed in his green woodland garb. The crowd cheered as they recognized him. He raised his bow and dipped the tip of his arrow in something. Andy held out a lighter to light Robin’s arrow. Robin drew his arm all the way back to his chin and—
“Stop. Stop this depravityright now.”
“Arf, arf!” Oscar cried. He wasn’t happy.
