Heathcliff wanted to close the store for the day to focus on our dirt-finding mission, but Heathcliff wanted to close the shop every day, and I refused to give in. With Grey’s construction site making Butcher Street unappealing to strolling shoppers, we needed all the sales we could get. And besides, I’d seen Grey outside supervising his workers. We couldn’t do anything that would make him suspicious, and closing the shop on a day with so much foot traffic would definitely raise eyebrows.
So I was stuck behind the desk while we waited for our chance to strike. A woman wearing a fur stole and an impossibly tight pencil skirt strolled up to the desk and placed a paint swatch in front of me. She jabbed a color named ‘Divine White’ with a perfectly-manicured nail. “I’d like a book to match that color, please.”
“You…what?”
She lowered her glasses on her nose to peer down at me like I was a simpleton. “I want you to find a book to match this color. I’m redecorating my living room and I like things to match.”
Even though I couldn’t see him, from across the room I could feel Heathcliff’s ire growing into a black cloud that would consume us all.
“I’m sorry, I’m afraid I’m blind, so I’m not going to be very much help.” I handed the swatches back to her. “Why don’t you just choose a book from our discounted table and paint the cover in this color?”
“Discount table?” Her eyes lit up. “I could have a whole shelf of Divine White books. That’s an excellent idea.”
While the woman happily sorted through the stacks of Dan Brown hardcovers we were desperately trying to offload, Morrie came over with a stack of biology books he’d found on the fiction shelves and a flyer advertising today’s performance.
“That’s our window,” Morrie whispered, jabbing at the paper. “Everyone in the village will be at the performance. We can put a sign on the door saying we’re attending as well, but no one will notice if we’re not in the crowd. It’s the perfect time to sneak over to Dracula’s abode and do a little snooping. We just have to make sure Grey’s out of the house first.”
“But how do we do that?” Heathcliff emerged from the poetry stacks.
“Easy.” I grinned as I noticed a familiar pink feather boa bob past the window.
A moment later, the shop bell tinkled. The familiar waft of hyacinth perfume announced the arrival of one of my favorite visitors.
“Mina.” Mrs. Ellis bustled toward me, dressed as a full-blown wicked witch with a lace gown (it was her wedding gown. I helped her dye it a couple of weeks ago), a wide-brimmed witch’s hat, and a giant hooked faux nose, complete with a realistic-looking boil on the tip.
“Hello, darling.” Cynthia Lachlan peered out from behind Mrs. Ellis, in her own witch’s outfit which consisted of a Morticia Addams dress with a plunging neckline. She must be literally freezing her tits off outside. I let her air-kiss my cheeks to oblivion.
They were with a third woman. When they stepped aside, I recognized Deirdre, the village postmistress, in her own suitably witchy attire. She looked all around the room. “Hullo, Mina. Is your shop bird here?”
“No, he’s…eating some berries upstairs.”
“Oh, that’s a pity.” She pulled a packet from her purse and handed it to me. “I wanted to give him these bird treats. Our raven absolutely loves them.”
“Your raven?” Mrs. Ellis turned to her friend.
“Yes, didn’t I tell you? We’ve had a bird friend visiting the post office. I wondered if he might be a friend of your chap, although he seems better trained – he hasn’t defecated on any customers yet. He just sort of hops along the windowsill in the mailroom and waits for his treats.”
“Oh, well, thank you.” I shoved the packet in my pocket. “I’m sure our bird will love these treats.”
“Do you like our outfits?” Cynthia giggled as she gave a spin. “The Spirit Seekers Society are stepping out in Halloween style.”
“You all look fantastic!” I beamed. “Although, obviously, I’m biased. How are things looking over at the church?”
“Oh, stunning. That new vicar – Reverend Mosley – is such a good sport. He let us put up all kinds of autumnal decorations, even a few jack-o-lanterns lining the church steps. And he’s quite handsome.”
“Blond hair and ocean-blue eyes,” Cynthia said dreamily.
“So tall,” Deirdre gushed. “With thoseshoulders. He could bowl for the village cricket team.”
“And that Irish brogue,” added Mrs. Ellis. “It has me all aflutter.”
“Just keep your hands to yourself during the service,” I warned with a smile. “The good reverend has already attracted the ire of Dorothy Ingram’s new society. I wouldn’t want him to be chased out of the village by an angry mob for impropriety.”
Mrs. Ellis waved her hand dismissively. “If you ask me, that Dorothy Ingram needs to play a little hide the bishop of her own, then maybe she wouldn’t be sticking her nose into everyone else’s business. She’s only lashing out because she’s afraid of the Dracula Killer. Everyone is, of course, but they don’t feel the need to go round spoiling everyone’s fun.”
“My Sally joined her little group,” Deirdre added. “What’s their name again?”
“Defense against Immorality, Adultery, Bestiality, Lucifer and the Occult,” Morrie piped up. “It spells DIABLO.”
