Actually, that doesn’t smell like fish and chips. It smells… fresher. I hope Mum isn’t trying to make prawn cocktails again. The only dinner party she ever tried to host and she gave ten people food poisoning…
“You turned the sign?” Quoth helped me pull off my coat, and hung it in the hidden cupboard at the end of the bookcase, where we stashed all our wet weather gear. He had to kick a pile of Morrie’s shoes out of the way to get the door open. Grimalkin walked over to greet us, sniffed my boot and, upon catching the scent of dog, shot me a filthy look and trotted away.
“Yeah. I know we’re home early, but I’m so shagged I don’t think I can deal with customers right now. I’m looking forward to a quiet night in with some takeout food that doesn’t crawl—”
I rounded the corner into the main room and stopped in my tracks. My jaw flapped open, and try as I might, I couldn’t force air to make a sound.
What… is… this…?
My mother satonHeathcliff’s desk, her laptop set atop a teetering stack of books. She faced the screen, chattering away on camera as she held up an oyster shell and cracked it open, splattering juice and bits of oyster across the carpet. Grimalkin scampered in and gobbled up the seafood before collapsing under the desk, purring with contentment.
Beside Heathcliff’s desk, soaking briny juices into the rug, were two towering mountains of oyster shells.
Chapter Seventeen
“Mum,” I breathed. “Wha—”
This is… I can’t… but what…
“Mina, boys, you’re back early.” Mum slammed shut her laptop and glared at the three of us. “You’re interrupting my live webcast.”
“Your…” I rubbed my eyes, hoping that the piles of oysters would magically disappear, like some kind of blind Mina mirage. But no, there they were – two towering peaks of stinky oysters on the rug.
“Yes.” Mum frowned. “It’s my latest business idea. I’m hosting a pearl party.”
Heathcliff spluttered. “What in blazers is a pearl party?”
I rubbed my temple. “Mum, I thought you said you weren’t involved in any more pyramid schemes.”
“This isn’t a scheme. It’s a legitimate business opportunity.” Mum folded her arms. “Just because you haven’t yet embraced the value of social media to connect with your audience, Mina, doesn’t mean you can shoot down my dreams. Haven’t I sold a lot of books for you?”
“Well, yes, but—”
“Exactly. How can it be a pyramid scheme if I’m helping the shop? And look at this.” Mum popped open the oyster in her hand, revealing a tiny, luminous blood-red pearl. “Isn’t it beautiful?”
“Is it supposed to be that color?” It looked like the perfect accent for a vampire’s wedding dress.
“Look, Mina, this one is perfect for you. Red is for passion, vitality, and romance, see?” Mum thrust a chart in my face. I grabbed it from her hands and peered at the tiny writing. It showed pearls in twenty different lurid colors, each one with a description that corresponded to a particular personality type.
“Mum, whatisthis?”
“It’s my Jewels of the Ocean business, of course. How it works is simple – my followers can buy an oyster, and then I’ll shuck it onscreen and show them the pearl inside. They can then choose any item of jewelry from our catalog, and I’ll insert their pearl into the piece and then ship it off. It’s like your very own personalized heirloom.”
“But how do they ensure every oyster contains a pearl, and make the pearls colored like this?” I picked up an oyster and inspected the shell. “That’s not natural, or ethical. And why are you selling themhere,in the bookshop?”
“Darling, these pearls are certified by the International Pearl Council, so I’m sure they’re fine. Iwasdoing my feeds from the kitchen, but doing it here at the shop sets me apart from the crowd. I’m the Pearl Bookshop Lady. My followers get beautiful pearlsandbook recommendations, and I’m able to build my businessandsupport my daughter.”
A headache blossomed across my temples. “Why are your pearl buyers purchasing all these books?”
“I have to try and get people to stay on my live feed as long as possible, and I don’t want to use up all my pearls.” Mum nodded toward the pile of stinking seafood. “That has to last me until I get my first pearl payment. So I’ve been hunting through the bookshelves for pearl-themed books.”
“I can’t believe this.”
Mum pointed to a picture of a mermaid behind Heathcliff’s desk. “I even soldthat. I was going to write you a check for the three hundred pounds now, but after you’ve denigrated my business, I’ve a mind to keep it for myself—”
“Don’t you dare. Quo—er, Allan painted that. He deserves the money.”
“Oh, Mina. I wish you could support Jewels of the Ocean. I was inspired by all the things you’ve done,” she explained. “You’ve been so creative, coming up with clever events and displays and promotions. I thought pearl parties would allow me to be creative, too…”
