Traps?Insects?My stomach churned.Why couldn’t we have signed up for one of the yoga and wellness courses? I like the sound of a sacred skyclad circle…
“—at the end of the hike, we’ll make camp and then you will cook dinner for the group using what we’ve foraged and caught.” Sam grinned. “The more you listen and learn, the more delicious supper will be.”
Sam launched into a long lecture about the proper way to tie a fishing line and the best place to make camp if you want to be found by the rescue helicopter. He was so earnest and enthusiastic I half expected him to break into a singalong about having to eat your friend’s foot to survive. Sam looked like the kind of guy who’d eaten a foot.
“—the second rule of foraging is to only collect from plentiful sources, and only what you plan to consume—”
Oscar panted, his tail thumping against my leg as he held on to Sam’s every word. Beside me, Quoth’s fingers laced in mine, and he kept glancing at the trees nervously, as if the scents of nearby birds might make him shift. On the other side of me, Heathcliff leaned forward, rapt by Sam’s story of how he had to hide up a tree to escape a bear in the Canadian Rockies.
“Tell me, are these bears available, and do you think they’d consider working in a bookshop scaring off customers?”
Finally, Sam declared the safety lecture over, handed us all hi-vis vests to wear over our jackets, and directed us to follow a path twisting through the trees. I hoisted my rucksack onto my shoulders, picked up Oscar’s harness and lead, and fell in line behind Heathcliff.
About a half-mile up the track, Sam stopped in front of some bushes. He crouched down and broke off a handful of leaves, which he passed around.
“We’re just coming out of January, so there aren’t many leafy foods around at the moment. Mostly, we’re hunting winter fruits and nuts, and we’re just coming into mushroom season, but we’ll deal with those later. First of all, this little guy is—”
“Horse parsley,” Heathcliff answered.
“Correct. It’s also known as Alexanders, and it was introduced to Britain by the Romans. It’s biennial, so you’ll only see these every second year. You can eat all of the plant, but the stalk is the best bit. Here.” Sam picked a bunch of the scraggly plant and handed me a stalk. Tentatively, I held it up and sniffed. It smelled a little like parsley. I tried a nibble off the end of the stem.
“Oh. It’s quite sweet!”
“Yes, it is. I love it in salads, but you can also boil the leaves and stems or add them to a stew. Or just eat them raw—”
Beside me, Heathcliff shoved the entire handful in his mouth and chewed vigorously.
We walked further, munching on our stems of horse parsley, while Sam kept up a steady stream of chatter. We stopped to pick wild garlic, harvest the tender tips of nettles, and dig for the spindly casings of chestnuts on the forest floor. We even found a few wild blackberries still clinging to a bush. It was actually kind of cool. My pockets burst with random things, and everything in the forest smelled fresh and bright.
Oscar was having a ball of a time, too. His nose twitched as new smells crossed his path every few minutes, but he never wavered from his job. After a while, I removed his collar and harness so he knew he was ‘off-duty.’ He bounced after butterflies and barked at a fox stalking through the undergrowth.
“Ah, now here’s something special.” Sam turned over a rotting log to reveal a line of orange-brown caps growing in overlapping tiers. “These little beauties areFlammulina velutipes,or—
“—Velvet shank,” finished Heathcliff.
“Very good, Heathcliff. You seem to know your shrooms. You’ll find these little fellas on dead and decaying trees, especially ash, oak, and beech, from November to March. You need to be careful as they look similar to deadly funeral bell – mixing them up could be a fatal mistake.”
“As the resident blind person, I don’t think I want to be in charge of fungi.” I shuddered. Death seemed to find me everywhere these days; no way did I want to dice with mushrooms, especially not after what happened to Kate.
“Don’t worry, Mina. Identifying mushrooms is an advanced foraging skill. Onlyex-spore-iencedoutdoorsmen like Heathcliff and myself should locate and cook fungi.” Sam held up one of the velvet shanks. “Trust me, these babies will be delicious in tonight’s feast. While we hunt out some others, I think you and Allan should be in charge of finding our protein.”
“Protein?”
Sam lifted another rotting log, revealing a couple of cockroaches scuttling back toward the darkness. I jerked away.
“They’re perfectly safe. Unlike the cockroaches around your house, which have probably been snacking on toxic materials and sprayed with insecticides that have failed to kill them, these little blighters have had a healthy free-range diet and they’re packed with protein. It makes them an excellent choice for wilderness survival, if you know where to look for them.”
“I’m not sure why I’d ever want tolookfor cockroaches,” I shuddered.
“Cockroaches are actually incredibly fascinating,” Sam continued as if I hadn’t spoken. “They touch each other and use a pheromone in their body to recommend the best nearby food sources. That’s why you often find them eating in a group, like they are here. We’re going to feast tonight.”
“Nothing you said makes me any more interested in eating one.”
“I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.” Sam scooped the disgusting insects into his billy and screwed the lid on. “When sautéed in a little butter and garlic, they’re actually quite tasty.”
“You’re right. I will be surprised… if you can get me to eat one of those.” The billy emitted pinging noises as the roaches fought for freedom. Sam clipped the pot back onto his rucksack and continued up the path.
After another couple of hours, my feet ached and my shoulders protested from lifting the rucksack on and off my back constantly. Heathcliff leaped off the path to hunt for mushrooms, and Sam added another handful of cockroaches to his stash. Quoth found a hawthorn bush with a few berries. “We could use these to make a sauce for our stew.”
