“I don’t have to explain myself to you, Dorien.” Faye shook her head, and a sadness flickered in her eyes that reminded me so much of his desperation that I had to look away to catch my breath. When I turned back to her, that sadness had disappeared. “Why are you doing this? We haven’t seen each other for ten years. I stayed away from you, just like you wanted. It’s not my fault we ended up at the same school. So why are you so determined to make me leave? You of all people should know I don’t fucking bend to anyone’s will.”
I never wanted you to stay away.
The thought tasted bitter. Or maybe that was just the decade of resentment that bubbled inside me. Because Faye was lying – she didn’t bend to anyone’s will, except mine. I told her to leave me, and she left me. And I hated her for it, but not as much as I hated myself.
That decision was supposed to hurt for only a moment. I was supposed to lock up my heart so I could forget Faye, so I would never again feel the sting as her heart broke in front of me, as tears drowned out the fire in her eyes. I told myself it had worked for ten years, as I wandered the earth a ghost of a person, an empty box without a key. But now the decision that cost me my only true friend threatened to destroy someone else I loved, and Faye had stormed back into my life and blown the box to smithereens.
Fourteen days and no text. He has to know I’d be going fucking crazy.
I closed the space between us in three strides. Faye yelped in surprise as my fingers circled her wrist, pulling her close so our bodies pressed together, chest to chest. Her heart danced a wild rhythm through the thin fabric of her sodden dress, matching the violence of my own. Red lips parted, and the urge… the urge overwhelmed me… to slip my tongue between them, to tease out the sorcery inside, to drink and drink of her until I burst with her magic.
But those six words ran around and around in my head, blurring together until they lost all meaning. Until I knew only one thing – that I had someone else to protect, someone who needed me more than I’d convinced myself I needed Faye.
Hurting her should come naturally to you. After all, you did it once before.
“Little hint.” My fingers tightened around Faye’s arm. She whimpered, but it wasn’t a sound of fear. I strained through my desire, searching for a threat. “If you want to survive the next year, you should walk out the gates now and never come back. If you stay, I’ll destroy you. That is my solemn promise.”
My body buzzed with the urge to flip her over, to lift up that sexy skirt of hers, bend her over the railing, and enter her. How many times over the years had I wondered how she’d feel, the girl I let go – how hot and slick and inviting, how she’d push back against my cock and throw back her head and howl at the moon like the wild woman she was. I growled, low in my throat, and the sound was meant to scare her, but it sent a tremble of desire through her body that echoed in my own. Could she feel my cock hard against her thigh?
Fuck. Fuck. I’m in deep shit.
“Why are you trying to frighten me?” Faye whispered, glaring back at me with defiance, with triumph. “I’ll never be afraid of you. I’ve seen real horrors, Dorien. I’ve lived through pain you could only imagine, and trying to keep me from my mother is not going to break me. To me, you’re nothing but a scared little boy.”
“You think you know me?” I growled. “You think you have a monopoly on pain? You’re about to find out just how little you know. That boy you remember died a long time ago, and the man he grew into is callous and dangerous. I’ll stop at nothing to get what I want, and what I want is for you toleave.”
Faye smirked. “Funny. I could have sworn you were after something else when you grabbed me.”
I threw her arm from me, sending her reeling across the gazebo. She yelped in surprise, but I couldn’t hear it. I had to shut myself off to everything she was, everything she could be. I struggled to control my breathing as I rasped my parting words. “This is your last warning. Poor little Sprite. You’re trapped in the spider’s web, and you don’t even know it. Leave Manderley forever, or you’ll be the next ghost to haunt these walls.”
Chapter Seventeen
Faye
Still shaking from my encounter with Dorien on top of missing my visit with Mom and finding my father’s book, I slammed the attic door and flopped down on the bed, kicking off my shoes. Going outside was a mistake, that was obvious. I’d spent a good hour being pummeled by the rain as I stomped around in the garden bed under the window, looking for signs someone had been there. But the only footprints were my own.
I should have gone to bed then, but as I tiptoed through the hall in my damp clothes with the fairy tale book under my arm, I could still hear the others in the Blue Room – Elena’s tinkling laugh and Titus’ booming voice regaling the group with stories from the last Broken Muse tour. I hadn’t thought. I didn’t even pause to change my clothes. I dumped the book beside my bed, grabbed my violin, and rushed out into the biting wind.
I just needed toplay.Somewhere away fromthem.Maybe the wind would carry the notes to my mother. As soon as I struck the bow to the strings, I felt better. I closed my eyes and transported myself far from Manderley, to a different time and place, when Mom and I were happy and the future looked bright.
Dorien justhadto find me and ruin it.
I shook myself, like a dog drying himself after rolling in a puddle, and threw myself down on my bed. I wished I could shake off the trembling in my fingers that had nothing to do with the cold. Heat pooled in my chest and other places I didn’t want to think about.
When Dorien held me, his lips dangerously close, his stiff cock pressing against my thigh, how close had I come to leaning in to kiss him, to taste the cruel words flowing from his lips like honey?
“Cockpoodles,” I muttered into my pillow.This whole night is completely fucked up.
I flipped myself over, turning on the lamp and pulling the book across the bed to rest on my knees. I pinched the familiar pages between my fingers, staring at those words scrawled across the frontispiece until they ceased to make sense. Itwasmy father’s book.My book.The grief from losing him came in waves of rage and despair, each powerful and uncontrollable. I’d tossed it away during one of the rages. So how had it ended up at Manderley?
And why did someonewantme to find it?
Chapter Eighteen
Faye
On Saturday a week after Solokov’s visit, Madame Usher announced over lunch that he’d been so impressed he invited Elena to perform in Moscow over the winter break. I tried to smile, but it came out as a grimace. Across the table, I noticed Dorien’s eyes were stormy even as he joined the applause.
Elena’s pale skin glowed with joy, and the faintest smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. She turned to Master Radcliffe. “What about Ivan?”
