Darkness took me.
Chapter Forty-Three
From the darkness emerged a light that was more than light – a light that gave off a shimmer that made my heart light and made all my problems a million miles away. In the back of my mind, something itched – a sense that I was supposed to be somewhere else, doing something important. But when I tried to grasp at the thought, it trickled through my fingers.
Two figures emerged from the light, their forms resolving into limbs, into smiles that I thought I’d never see again.
“Mom?” My breath came out in a wheeze. “Dante?”
In reply, my mother stopped in her tracks, opening her arms for me. I threw myself at her, allowing her to envelop me in her embrace. Warmth radiated from her skin – the kind of warmth that soaked into my bones.
“My baby girl,” she whispered into my hair.
I pressed my lips against her neck, feeling the warmth of her skin, tasting the richness of her perfume – strawberry and lime, a zesty smell that always made me feel safe and loved.
“We’ve been watching you,” Dante’s deep voice reverberated through my bones, grabbing my heart and squeezing it tight. “I saw you got a tattoo. Pretty shitty work – I hope you choose a better artist next time.”
Laughing, I fell into Dante’s arms. His eyes crinkled at the edges, and my heart skipped. All the things I’d felt for him over the years rushed me at once – all that teen longing had gone, replaced by the love that underpinned it all.
He grinned as he fist-bumped me.
“I’m dead, right?” I looked around at the world made of light. “I mean, you guys aren’t ghosts. You’re chilling out in heaven. But then why am I here? I should be in the place with the more sulphuric interior decorating scheme.”
My mother shrugged. “You could be in heaven, honey. Or this could be the lack of oxygen messing with your brain. But I’m holding you again, so let’s not waste a moment questioning it.”
She crushed me to her chest, and my heart cracked open. She was right – to hold her again, smell her familiar scent, feel her arms squeezing me… it was all that mattered.
Only…
I pulled back, studying her beautiful face beaming with love. “Why do you still love me? Don’t you know what I did? I’m the reason you’re here. I’m your—”
I choked on the wordmurderer.
“Hazel Waite, you listen to me.” Mom wagged her finger at me in mock annoyance. “You’re mydaughter, and that’s what you’ll always be to me. This was not your fault. Dante and I… we knew what we did would hurt you, but we did it anyway. Because our lives were so shitty that to grab on to one moment of happiness was worth all the pain.”
“We’re sorry ‘bout that,” Dante grinned.
“You can’t… you can’tapologizeafter I—”
Mom gave me one of her stern looks, and I snapped my mouth shut. “No more. You can’t carry around this anger – not for us, and certainly not for yourself. You’ve been given something beautiful, and I expect you to enjoy it.”
I shook my head. “You’re wrong. You sit up here in heaven or wherever the fuck, but back on earth there are consequences. Ikilledyou. I have to answer for my crimes. That’s the only way I’ll be free of the guilt.”
“Have you not answered for them already?” Dante planted his lips against mine.
His kiss was pure light, so different from my King’s, whose lips bore the scars of their inner darkness.
The only thing was… Ineededthat darkness.
Dante’s light was not what I wanted any more. If his kiss was meant to draw me closer, then it did the exact opposite – it closed the door forever on what we had. I loved him still, but not in that way.
He pulled back, and his smile told me that was exactly his plan. “Goodbye, Hazel. Or should I say,Hazy? You’re going to be amazing.”
“She already is.” My mother’s smile faded at the edges as her face melted into the light. A ringing sounded in my ears as she drew away, as the light pulled me back, back, away from them. “I love you, darling.”
I stretched out my arms to her, but she was already far away.
“Oh, and Hazy?” Dante called after me, his voice quiet against the roar of the light.
