It is a piece.
“A piece of what?”
A piece of the star-journey. There are other pieces, also hidden. You will reveal them in time, as we grow closer.
An involuntary shudder pulsed through my skin. I knew what I’d promised the god – that he would set the students free as long as I joined him as his consort – and I would promise it a thousand times over if it meant saving my Kings, but the thought of being closer to it… I swallowed hard against the bile fighting its way from my stomach. “You say you are a truth-teller, but you weren’t being truthful to me before. You didn’t tell me you were trying to make children.”
I did not make a lie. I said their souls were given to me, and they didn’t know pain as you do. I did this only to protect my nest. It does not matter now that my race will continue.
“That’s not fair. They didn’t ask to be your children. You took their lives without permission.”
What child asks to be born? Their own parents pushed them away. I took what was unwanted and I gave them gifts greater than they could ever wish for. I protect them and send my servants to guard them. Their descendants will rule over this galaxy from their castles made of stars. It is an honor to be chosen.
He had a point – from where he sat, what he offered the Miskatonic Prep studentsdidseem better than what they had.
“You won’t give them up,” I said, understanding dawning. “When the time comes, you won’t give me what we agreed. You love them.”
I do not understand. They are my children. Their souls have given me these… feelingsss. I could not leave them even if it were possible to return to the stars, or if it were possible to bring back the one who is my twin.
The one who was his twin – for a moment I thought he meant me, but then I remembered what Ms. West had said. The god came to our galaxy with a mate, but she died on the journey. “You mean your soulmate? When you came to our galaxy, you weren’t alone. You had another like you.”Like Noah’s Ark… all the cosmic gods, two by two.
The god’s pain welled inside me as a deep and fathomless hole. I teetered on the edge of his loss, flailing my arms to keep from falling in, to becoming lost in his misery.We danced among the stars, and their brightness lit the cosmos – a lantern to guide our way. But your universe was so far, and I had no brightness of my own. My twin burned and burned until their light faded, but I wanted so badly to reach the shores of our new home. I wanted to be first among us. I drove us onward, until their brightness was swallowed up in the cold depths of nothing. Their light went out. It was just me.
I clutched my heart as his anguish cut through me. My mother’s face flickered across my eyes – her hair ringed in orange fire. It was my mother, and yet it was not her. Her face wasn’t quite right. There was another image beneath her – I could only see the edges of it, only enough to know it wasn’t something that could be seen with human eyes. But it was the same. Because the god and I were the same. We’d both lost the people we love.
Because we are the murderers.
This was why he craved me and not Loretta. Because Loretta had no love for the man she killed. Because the god could not understand her emotions, but he knew mine all too well.
I sucked in a breath. My mother’s angelic face continued to stare at me, her eyes haunted, edged with the god’s inky darkness – the memory of his own crime had fused with mine, becoming one singular horror. “What you’re describing is love – or as close an approximation as your race can get. You loved your soul twin, and you love your children. You want to hold them close, to protect them, to watch them grow up, to make sure their light never goes out. But your children are my friends, and I love them, and you promised you would free them if I found a way.”
I promised. I am a truth-sayer. I love them and I will lose them, because I promised you. You must keep your promise. You must stay with me and be my new soul-twin.
“I haven’t forgotten.” Another shiver rocked my body. I hugged my arms around myself, trying to shut out the wave of jubilant despair the god threw my way. “I know you used the fire to give part of yourself to your children, and you took a piece of them in return. If I made you another fire, could you just swap the pieces back again?”
If I were to take back the spirit pieces, I would be tainted by their… feelingsss. I would not be able to make more children. We would be lonely together, you and I, without children.
I thought I understood. The piecescouldbe switched, but then the god would be so broken that he could not continue his race. And that was his whole reason for coming to our planet in the first place. He was supposed to colonize our universe.
I tapped my chin. “What if I found you some other vessels to be your children? What if they werebetter?”
Yesss.The god’s voices crackled between my ears, the sound like an ice shelf breaking into the sea.I could take my gifts from my children and give them to others, as long as they were worthy.
A slow grin spread across my face. “I have the perfect candidates in mind. You tell me what you need, and I will make it happen. Mr. God, I think you and I finally have a plan.”
Chapter Twelve
I woke to shooting pain down one side of my neck from sleeping curled around Ayaz’s body. Quinn slouched in the chair, his chin against his chest and an ugly sword he probably stole from that suit of armor in the faculty wing resting across his lap. He must have traded places with Trey during my slumber.
I reached across and poked him in the arm. Quinn snorted and leaped to his feet, crushing his back against the wall as he surveyed me with wild eyes. The sword clattered uselessly to the floor.
When he realized I hadn’t set him on fire, his shoulders sagged with relief. Angry tears welled in my eyes, but I forced them back.It’s better this way. If he is afraid of me, he’ll be relieved when I leave him to join the god. This way, I won’t hurt him.
“Morning, Hazy.” Quinn turned on that megawatt smile of his, the one that melted all the hard things inside me. He ran a hand through his surfer hair. For an instant, the tension between us shifted from wariness to attraction.Quinn still cares. He’s afraid, but he’s trying to fight it. “I swear I wasn’t sleeping on the job. I just closed my eyes for a moment—”
“It’s fine. We’re all tired.” An awkward silence stretched between us. Beside me, Ayaz still slept, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. His head had bent toward me in the night. As I slid my legs out from under the blanket, his stubble tickled my leg, sending a delicious flare of heat right to my core.
Mmmmm.I’d missed Ayaz – so much it was a physical ache that dragged in my limbs. I’d missed his lips on mine, the way he stared at me so intently, unraveling my secrets with his eyes. I missed his scent on my clothes and the warmth of his fingers tracing my jaw – the artist becoming one with his muse.
