Finally, Loretta’s shoulders sagged, and she collapsed against my shoulder, tension fleeing her body as she relaxed into my embrace. She didn’t cry. I suspected her tears had dried a long time ago.
“I’m sorry for what happened to you,” I said. “I’m sorry that I didn’t know before, that I wasn’t a good friend.”
“It’s not your job,” Loretta said.
“Maybe not, but I want it. I want to be your friend. Honestly, you deserve someone better than me, but I’m here if you want me.”
She sniffed, wriggling away. “Greg was my friend… until Courtney said I couldn’t be seen with him.”
“You can help me to help him, and then you can be friends again. All I need to know is what happened when you were sacrificed—”
Loretta’s eyes fluttered closed as she remembered. “During last period, Ms. West requested I meet in her office to discuss pulling up my low merit points. She had her secretary make tea for us. I guess my cup was laced with drugs, because the next thing I remember was waking up in the dark with my wrists bound.” Loretta clutched me, her fingers digging into my shoulders like claws. “I floated in and out of consciousness, and there was this… presence inside my head. It sounded like a hundred children screaming.”
“That’s the god’s voice.”
“Yeah.” Loretta sniffed again. “He called and called to me and after a while, I longed to join him. Because it had to be better than this school, these people, then living with my memories. They strung me up and lowered me into the hole. I couldn’t see anything, but it felt heavy, like the darkness was already full. Something wet and sticky slid over my skin. It wrapped around my legs, tightening, cutting off circulation. I closed my eyes. I pushed aside the fear, because this was what I wanted. The creature asked me to join him, and I said I would.”
Loretta hiccuped.
“And then the screaming inside my head erupted. It hurt more than anything I ever felt before. ‘You are not the one. You do not carry the flame.’ Over and over and over those words pounded against my skull. The next thing I know, I’m flung out of the hole and I hit the cave floor. I lose consciousness again. I wake up in the cave, and I managed to find my way to the gym, where Ms. West and Courtney found me. They took me upstairs to a new bedroom. Courtney gave me a makeover. She told me I was her friend now, but if I spoke to any of the scholarship students again, they would kill all of you.
“So you see.” Bitterness soured Loretta’s voice. “I’m such a failure, I couldn’t even die. No one wants me, not even the creature. He only wantsyou.”
Her nails dug into my back.
“I’m not going to give you platitudes about everything turning out for the best and blah blah blah.” I chose words as carefully as I knew how. “You and I have both been through enough; we know that’s not true. But you’ve been through too much to let this stupid fucking school beat you. That’s the only way I survive – out of sheer spite. And I can tell you that—”
Something rustled in the bushes beside us. Loretta and I snapped our heads around, searching for what made the noise.
We didn’t have to look for long. Andre stepped out of the bushes, his jaw set tight. One look into his eyes and I knew he’d heard everything.
Shit. Shit.He’s heard everything we just talked about. He knows there’s a god under the school and that he was planned as a sacrifice.
That meant I’d officially broken my oath to the god. Greg and Andre were no longer protected.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Andre yanked out his pad and pen, but his hand trembled when he tried to write. While he scratched his pen across the page, he glared from me to Loretta, daring us to speak.
He didn’t need to write. His questions and accusations etched themselves across his expressive face. He finished his page and thrust it at me.
‘WHY DID YOU KEEP THIS A SECRET?’ was etched in angry letters, the pen pressing so hard it had torn through the paper.
I glanced at Loretta, but she was in no state right now to answer. “Andre, I wanted to tell you, but it was complicated. Ms. West was going to sacrifice Greg. To save his life I made a deal with her that I would offer myself up at the end of the year, but she couldn’t hurt either of you. She agreed, but only if I didn’t tell you about the god.”
He shook his head, scrawling furious words across the page.
“You should have told us. Greg and I had a right to know,” I read aloud for Loretta’s benefit. My chest tightened at how angry his words were. “You think you’re the only one who wants to stop what’s happening at this school? My girlfriend had her tongue mutilated. We both deserved the chance to right our wrongs. You don’t have a monopoly on pain or secrets. You two think you’re the only ones who know anything about murder?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but Loretta squeezed my hand. Andre tore a fresh page and continued writing.
“My father was high up in a gang. He owned a lucrative drug operation. I spent a lot of time surrounded by other gang members, hanging out at the abandoned house where they cooked. There was this one guy – my dad’s best meth cook. He made such good shit and he was so cheap that he’d risen quickly in the business, but he thought that made him a god. Dad trusted this guy, so he would leave me in his care while he was out. This guy tormented me, called me names, sent me to do jobs that required talking so he could laugh at my inability to speak.
“One day, he told me to order pizza. He was playing around – they wouldn’t order pizza to the house. But he wouldn’t let up until even the other guys weren’t laughing anymore. He didn’t know that my dad came back early and had heard everything. Dad flew into a rage. He whipped out a gun and shot the guy in the chest, right there in the backyard. A neighbor saw and called the police. My dad went away for twenty years. He’ll probably die in jail, and it’s my fault.”
Fuck. So much pain. So many broken families. Too many kids who’d seen far too much. Wordlessly, Loretta and I went to Andre, wrapping our arms around our gentle giant.
“It’s not your fault,” I whispered.
