“This isn’t a matter for discussion, Hazel. Your operation is scheduled for two weeks time. I’ll be visiting you within the next couple of days for some preliminary tests. I suggest you use the interim to get used to the idea. I can give you some information leaflets to read, if that will help you come to terms with it?”
The heat buzzed against my skin, flames licking the undersides of my palms. “You think a fucking leaflet is going to make thisokay?”
“Hazel, you look distressed. Perhaps I should have someone take you back to your room. You can skip therapy today—”
The heat burst from my palms. The rage flared inside me, rushing along my arms and hurtling from my fingers, completely beyond my control.
Dr. Peaslee’s computer sparked. He shoved his chair back just as flames leaped from the keyboard. A burning plastic smell filled the room.
Satisfaction replaced the rage as I watched Peaslee cower in the corner, his eyes wide as sparks rained from his monitor like some kind of fucked-up fireworks display. Smoke billowed from the unit. A shrill alarm buzzed in my ears.
The satisfaction didn’t last long. Dr. Peaslee moved his hand to a panel on the wall. I didn’t have time to wonder what he was doing before he pushed a button and two orderlies barreled into the room, pinned me on his desk, and stuck a needle in my arm.
Chapter Three
Two weeks.
That was all the time I had left before they permanently altered my brain and I believed the lies they were trying to force down my throat.
Two weeks until I lose the only weapon I had that could destroy the god and free the students of Miskatonic Prep.
Two weeks until I could no longer remember what was real and what made me who I was. They would take the only beautiful memories I had left and twist them into something ugly. They would erase Trey and Quinn and Ayaz and turn them back into my tormentors.
And that wasn’t even the worst thing. Only I knew just how tightly I clung to my last shreds of sanity. Just beneath the surface, I hid something dark, something dangerous. Something I didn’t understand and had hoped to banish forever.
But I couldn’t hide from myself. Not any longer. Not with everything that was at stake.
The only way out of this institution was to stop trying to brace myself against the madness. I had to embrace it. I had to become someone I’d always feared, someone I’d locked down deep, because acknowledging her existence meant accepting the monster inside me.
Possessed by fire.
Whether I wanted to acknowledge her or not, my time at Derleth had revealed the cracks in my system. I couldn’t control the monster when I was around Trey, Quinn, and Ayaz. When they were my bullies I’d been able to stay cool, but that was because I was used to life shitting on me. Now… they were so much more to me, and I had this warm hope flickering inside me. And that made me dangerous.
I needed a plan. I needed control.
My glimpse at Dr. Peaslee’s computer screen showed the cameras in our rooms were angled in such a way that there was one small corner they didn’t quite reach – in our bathroom stalls, down beside the toilet. I figured there was probably some law about not being able to film patients (inmates) while they went to the bathroom.
That meant I had a private space where I could practice.
As soon as the orderlies locked my door and I heard their footsteps fade in the hall, I went into the bathroom, locked the door, and sat on the toilet as though I were going about my business. Casually, I snaked my hand up the wall and pushed on the air vent. It had always been open a tiny crack, just enough to send a faint breeze through the room when the wind picked up outside. That wasn’t enough for my purposes. I pushed on it, but it wouldn’t give any further. I gave it a good hard shove, but the thing wasn’t moving. I’d have to try another way.
I flushed the toilet, washed my hands, and laid down on the bed. The mold patterns on the ceiling swirled in front of my eyes, resolving themselves into the twisted shadows that had followed me in the gymnasium. I still had no clue what those shadows were and why they had attacked me that day – if that was even what they were doing.
Miskatonic Prep had so many mysteries still to unravel. Why did I hurt the god? Why were there so many rats scrabbling in the walls, but I’d never seen a single rodent? If the god ate souls, why were Trey and Quinn and Ayaz still so… human? But there were only two mysteries Ineededto solve – how could I stop the Eldritch Club from sacrificing more innocents? How could I find a way to give back what was taken from the students of Miskatonic Prep?
The key in my door turned. Nurse Waterford walked in, accompanied by the beefy orderly. She held out my cup of medication. I noticed a small white pill inside that had never been there before.
She handed me the uncapped drink bottle.
“Thanks. Um… it’s so stuffy in here,” I waved my hand in front of my face, then pointed to the small, barred window high up on the wall. “Is there any way we could open the window? I’m feeling faint.”
Nurse Waterford exchanged a lingering glance with the orderly. She wasn’t the empathetic type, but she might have heard about what happened in Dr. Peaslee’s office and assumed I was shaken up. She shook her head. “Not in this room. But James will open the vent in your bathroom. That’s the best I can do, I’m afraid.”
Fine by me.I tipped the cup of pills into my mouth as the orderly fiddled with the vent and finally managed to crack it open. Now I had ventilation. Hopefully, it would be enough to get rid of any smoke before it set off the fire alarms.
I set down the water bottle. The orderly checked my open palms, then grabbed my neck and wrenched my head back. Nurse Waterford nodded. Satisfied I’d swallowed every last pill, they let me go. The door slammed behind them.
As I listened to their footsteps disappearing, my fingers fiddled with the edge of my sleeve, touching the tiny pills in their hiding place. It hadn’t occurred to them to check up my sleeve, where I’d unpicked a few stitches and slipped the pills inside the hem. Just one of the sleight-of-hand tricks Dante taught me.
