Meanwhile, the student body at large was occupied with the upcoming Halloween dance. It was one of the big events on the Derleth/Miskatonic social calendar. When the entire student body sans three students were soulless revenants and couldn’t step foot outside the boundaries of the school, they tended to go all out for a party. At our table in the dining hall, conversation centered around costume designs. Trey, Ayaz, and Quinn continued to command the monarch’s table, together with their loyalposse – Barclay, Arthur, Kenneth, Rupert, Paul, Mary, and Nancy. Greg, Andre, and I sat on the end, trying to ignore the dagger eyes other students threw our way. No one dared to insult us openly while the Kings were around, but they definitely weren’t happy about our new station.
On the opposite side of the hall, facing off with us like an opposing army, Courtney held court at what had once been the table reserved for scholarship students. She now commanded an army of her own, led by her boyfriend John and his equally thick-necked, creepy-smiled friends. I watched Loretta as she laughed with her new circle. When she used to sit with us all she’d do was shift food around her plate.
She was more alive as a revenant than she’d ever been.
That broke my heart a little. But I couldn’t focus on her. Loretta was already lost to me. I had to concentrate on keeping Greg and Andre alive. I was especially worried about Greg, who’d confessed he was barely sleeping since we’d rescued him from the caves.
I expected class to be awkward, what with all the teachers knowing about my pact, but things were so completely…normal. It was weird how everyone slipped into this routine – the teachers taught, the students passed notes and plotted Halloween hook-ups, like they hadn’t just been trying to rape me or sacrifice Greg to an ancient and malevolent god.
After twenty years of this farce, everyone knew their role.
The only thing that wasn’t normal was the way Trey, Quinn, and Ayaz closed in around me. Trey walked me between classes, glaring at anyone that so much as looked at me. Quinn acted like we were practically an item, always throwing his arms around me or lifting me over the threshold of a classroom. Ayaz brought me thoughtful gifts – a drawing he’d made of me, a bacon sandwich when I had to miss breakfast because of an early rehearsal.
“Andre’s right – the Kings are all hot for you,” Greg announced as we flung tulle and velvet at each other. We were raiding the costume and props room for outfits for the Halloween party. Quinn had just told me that the party was an alumni-sponsored event, which meant senior members of the Eldritch Club would be showing up.
I had to look like Hazel Waite, monarch of the school and Eldritch Club member. Difficult, considering the only clothing I had with me was my Derleth uniform and a few threadbare t-shirts. Luckily, Dr. Halsey allowed us free rein on the drama departments costumes and props, as long as we didn’t ruin anything.
I snorted at Greg. “It’s a game to them. They’re just trying to keep Courtney and her cronies away from us. Which is nice, but it’s not the same as being into me.”
Greg rolled his eyes. “Sure, honey. You keep telling yourself that.”
“Evenifit was true, which it isn’t, I’m not going to date any of them, not after the things they did to me. To all of us. And I don’t want to hear another word about it. Where is Andre, anyway? I thought he’d want some say over his own costume.”
“I don’t know. He keeps disappearing on me as soon as class is over.” Greg rubbed his red-ringed eyes. “I assumed he was at choir practice but apparently that’s only on Thursdays.”
“Maybe he’s found himself a girl. Or a guy.” I pulled out a white Venetian mask and held it up to my face.
“I hope so, but I haven’t seen him with anyone, and of course he won’t say… ooooh, I like that.” Greg fished out a beautiful blush pink gown and held it under my chin. “These would look amazing together.”
“Yeah, they would. On someone else.” I tossed them back into the pile. Very cute, verynotme. “You have a real eye for this. You’re such a gay cliche.”
Greg grinned. “I know. It’s on purpose.”
“Huh?”
“That gay guy – the camp, fashion-loving, show tune-singing, fabulous-talking guy – he’s a character. Most people can’t help but love him. If I’m him, then it’s easier being gay. Does that make sense?”
“Not really. Are you saying you just pretend to like musicals?”
“No, no. I love musicals. And acting. And playing a part. But I only got into theatre because I thought that’s what gay people were supposed to be into.” Greg placed a crown over his head. It fell down over one ear. “I grew up in this tiny rural town in Nebraska. All I knew about being gay was what I learned in church – that it was a sin and that sinners went to hell. But I didn’t know that being gay was what I was. I just knew that no one liked me and I felt like I didn’t belong. I came out to my parents accidentally when I was twelve. My sister had a boyfriend and I had a huge crush on him. I announced that I wanted a boyfriend, too. It was like they didn’t hear me. They just pretended I never said anything.”
“That must’ve hurt,” I said.
“Yeah.” He held up a pig costume and wrinkled his nose. “Insert many years of teen angst, until I started talking to other queer people on the internet and seeing gay men in TV shows – they dressed a certain way and acted a certain way and people liked them. No one had ever liked me. So I tried to be like them. And it worked – with my mom, at least. She started taking me shopping, giving me money to buy hair products, driving me to rehearsals at the local musical theater. It was like she felt safe with this version of me because she’d seen it on TV.”
“What about your dad?” I remembered what Greg had said about his dad taking him shooting.
“We never went shooting together after I came out,” Greg’s shoulders sagged. “I get it – Dad felt uncomfortable around me, like I’d somehow spoiled the father/son bond we had by liking men. But I also didn’t push it – I was trying to find myself in the world of gayness and there didn’t seem to be any room for shooting deer or skinning rabbits unless you were talking about the hottest fur trends at New York Fashion Week. For all I know, Dad might’ve had the hard word from Mom about not letting a minor shoot a gun. But the result was – no shooting, and we grew apart because I thought he didn’t accept who I was. I’ll never find out the truth, now. They were good people. They tried hard to accept me for who I am, but I think I was just too much of a disappointment.”
“I can’t ever imagine you being a disappointment,” I said. Greg’s story was so sad. In speaking his truth, he’d lost who he really was. He felt like he didn’t fit anywhere. I could understand that. “How did they die?”
“They were driving my sister to the mountains for a week of hunting and fishing and camping. I can’t remember why I didn’t go with them. Maybe we’d had an argument and they forced me to stay home, maybe I offered to stay so it wouldn’t be awkward for them. All I remember about that day is getting the call from the state police. It was a drunk driver who ran them off the road. Mom and my sister died in the crash. Dad died in the hospital, minutes before I got there. It was as if he couldn’t even be bothered to wait for me.”
“I’m sure that’s not true.”
“I was supposed to inherit the farm, but it turned out my mom had all these gambling debts so their assets were seized. My conservative Christian relatives refused to care for me because of the gay thing, so I went into the system and… this isperfection.”
Greg held up a black velvet dress with a white lace collar, the kind of dress Wednesday Addams would wear if she was trying to seduce a billionaire. The skirt wasmegashort.
